Good morning! Prepare yourself for the latest in my series of DRAKE TAKES™.
So you know how Nicki Minaj went on some television show and was like, I absolutely do not want to fuck Drake? The subtext being that their consistent roles in each other's music videos as partners (bride and groom, lapdancer and lapdancee) is somehow a prolonged public foreplay playing out as part of their respective careers, and that every so often they have to comment on the validity of said foreplay? I mean, sure, it could be. BUT.
Nicki: Hey Drizzy, I have a favor to ask…
Drake: Threesome with you and RiRi?
Nicki: Oh Drake! LOL. Ok, so my butt cheeks are making this new video, and I wanted to see if you could guest rap a verse?
Drake: Oh wow. To be honest, I feel like I already covered starting from the bottom and now I've kind of moved past that, you know?
Nicki: I mean, they're two different kinds of bottoms…my new song features a lot of play on words. Like did you know an anaconda is actually a type of penis metaphor invented in the nineties by Sir Ben Kingsley, Sir Paul McCartney, and Sir Mix-A-Lot?
The way she sees it, everything she does—even when it softens the impact of her underlying talent—ultimately serves a higher purpose: to achieve greater visibility for young black women in pop culture, plain and simple. When asked if she’s ever considered dialing back on any of the extracurriculars, Nicki is firm. “Helllllll no,” she says. Rap cannot contain her music, and neither can any one pursuit contain Nicki’s ambition. “I’ve done things where people are like, ‘Uhhhh,’” she says, making a theatrically perplexed face. “But every time I do a business venture or something that isn’t the norm for a female rapper, I pat myself on the back. It’s important [...]
It’s approaching the end of May, and a shittily perfect Chris Brown song that came out in December (largely neglected in the shadow of a glorious Beyonce release) is still dominating radio, club, strip club and bodega air play. I’m not going to labor over why this song is perfect: I’ve spent too many nights thrusting a glass of prosecco into the air in sync with the words “THESE HOES AIN’T LOYAL” as the DJ wound it back for a fifth time to even question the validity of this track.
There is, of course, a tension in enjoying this song as either a man who isn’t a total [...]