Posts Tagged: movies
9

The Twelve Days of Female Vengeance: Week One

BAMcinématek's "Vengeance Is Hers" film series starts tonight in Brooklyn, and if after reading the useful synopses on their site you'd like some more-superficial guidance for picking which to watch — here you go.

49

Pairings By Profession in Notable Romantic Comedy Films

Furniture Designer Train Token Collector

Heiress Carpenter/Miniature Golf Course Owner

Weatherman Producer

Electronics Store Clerk eBay Super-Seller

Mechanic Mathematician

Rich/Unclear Old Lady

Politician Maid

Pediatrician Wedding Planner

Astronomer Photographer

Architect Photographer

Cop Baker

29

"The digital porn guy wants a fantasy that doesn’t exist, but the postfeminist girl wants one as well"

Our dearest Anne Helen Petersen has a great post up at her blog on Don Jon and the "digital porn dystopia," a smart counterpart to the idea of "postfeminist dystopia" that she's written about both here and elsewhere. About the double bind that both Scarlett Johansson and Joseph Gordon-Levitt's character find themselves in:

Her pleasure is faked; his pleasure is never what he wants it to be. Lose, lose.

Jon tries to quit porn, but soon discovers that porn surrounds him: the objectified, fetishized female body has become so normalized that even women’s magazines, exercise videos, and fast-food restaurants use it to sell [...]

52

Elysium Is a Great Movie If You Imagine a Golden Retriever Directed It

Warning: slight spoilers.

Here is my experience of watching Elysium from its optimistic first moments through a sinking feeling that maybe this was not such a good movie to the sad realization that the film may have in fact have been written and directed by a golden retriever. 

1. Oh, this is nice. It’s dark! Oh, good! It’s nice and cool in here! I like Matt Damon. We are the same age. It makes me feel good to look at him! Ok, it’s Earth in the future, and it’s a shithole. Great slum shots. Neat, they CGIed some slums onto bombed-out skyscrapers. That looks cool. Wait. Matt [...]

3

Pocket Horror

The Scary Short Film Fest: potentially fun, depending on your horror-movie appetite/tolerance? Wes Craven is judging, Studio 360 is hosting, and submissions have to be anywhere from 1 to 30 seconds. You can shoot them "on Vine, Instagram, Super 8, or using any other method to create an original film" (although you're eventually supposed to submit via YouTube or Vimeo), and the theme is "young genius." All submissions so far can be watched here.

If you want in, videos are due midnight, March 2, and people can submit as many times as they'd like. It was so crazy because I was just taking a regular Instagram video AND TH—

35

5 Conversations Resulting From the Scene In The Counselor Involving Cameron Diaz's Vagina

1.

“Oh great. Now Cameron Diaz's vagina is going to be all over the internet.”

“What? They didn’t show it.”

“Oh, OK. I had this idea that you actually saw it, pressed against the windshield.”

“No. My God. Of course not. What are you, a moron?”

"OK, I don’t know! You said: 'There's a scene where Cameron Diaz rubs her vagina up against a car windshield,'  so I just assumed you actually saw it.”

“The movie would be X-rated. When have you ever seen an X-rated movie?”

“OK, forget it! Jesus."

 

2.

“Cormac McCarthy is so sexist.”

“Why?”

“Are you serious?”

“I just don’t know why that [...]

33

7 Classic Film Heroines Who Suck at Personal Safety

Hollywood has given us many strong, smart, heroic female characters. But for every Grace Kelly in High Noon, gunning down one of her husband's enemies and gouging out another's eye with her thumb, we're afflicted with a real dud of a heroine—one who seems to willfully put herself in harm's way. Here are seven female characters who set terrible examples of personal safety. And while we would never presume to tell a real woman who has suffered violence what she did "wrong," we do have some advice for today's screenwriters and directors: Personal safety is often just common sense. Is that too much to ask for in our heroines?

1. [...]

6

Jason Segel Is DFW

In news that is proving to be even more controversial than the Affleck-is-the-next-Batman cycle, somehow: Jason Segel will play the late David Foster Wallace in The End of the Tour, a movie based on Jason Lipsky's book about his road trip with the author. I am good with this! He's got the hair, and he'll have the bandana. Anyone read the book? [The Wrap]

19

Film Programming for the Bedroom

Winter is coming, which means that streaming and/or snuggling season is upon us, which means that you too can use movie nights to get laid. Here, a short list of films to watch and cinematically-appropriate sex pairings, offered in reverse chronological order, so you can enjoy film sex like a fine wine that gets kinkier with age.

Holy Motors (2012): Gremlin noises, costume changes, lots of biting.

Shame (2011): Masturbation, desperation, fenestration sex.

Fish Tank (2009): It is not my fault that Netflix carries all of Michael Fassbender's guilt-sex oeuvre. The evening's accoutrements: Cockney accents, dancing in track suits, underage drunk sex you [...]

1563

Who's the Squarest-Jawed of Them All?

Is this so bad? The general consensus seems to be that this seems to be that this is really, really bad:

Ben Affleck is Batman.

The actor will replace Christian Bale as Bruce Wayne in the upcoming untitled Batman-Superman feature for Warner Bros., the studio announced Thursday.

Affleck becomes the eighth actor to play the Caped Crusader, following [Christian] Bale, George Clooney, and Michael Keaton.

Aside from the perhaps more surprising information that there will be a Superman-Batman combination movie, which seems excessive, I'm curious: who would we prefer, really? Is the answer really "anyone but Affleck"? Would Gosling nail this?