Do you turn off Old Yeller before the end so you can pretend that he lived a long and happy life? Did a cute pet on a movie poster make you think it would be a fun comedy but it turned out to be a pet-with-a-terminal-illness tearjerker instead? Are you unable to enjoy the human body count in a horror movie because you're wondering whether the dog's going to kick the bucket? Have you ever Googled "Does the [dog/cat/horse/Klingon targ] die in [movie title]?"
Yes. This website is for you. [Spoilers, duh.]
Say it with me: "My body, my pad, my ride, my family, my church, my boys, my girls, and my porn." Now say it again, in Scarlett Johansson's Adrianaesque accent: "My body, my pad, my ride, my family, my church, my boys, my girls, and my porn." Perfect.
Don Jon, the first film written and directed by Joseph Gordon-Levitt, isn't due out until October, but I already feel like his well-meaning aunt watching this trailer: I only want the best for ya, Joe. I only want ya to succeed. You're cute. I like you. Blame that middle part.
Gaby Hoffmann, who you will remember dearly from movies like Sleepless in Seattle, Field of Dreams and, of course, Now & Then, is starring in a new movie alongside Michael Cera. It's called Crystal Fairy, and it's about a group effort to track down the hallucinogenic product in Chile's San Pedro cactus. Hoffmann plays that girl who was always spinning in circles on your college quad (or some version of her). She's also due for a turn in Girls next season.
Lake Bell's first feature film, In a World…, is about an aspiring voiceover star taking the next step in her career. The trailer looks fantastic, and Bell's credited as the writer, director, producer, and star. Give it your best movie trailer voice, now: In a world… In a world… In…a world…
There are going to be some spoilers, after the jump. If that's not cool, just walk on by. The main spoiler isn't even a SPOILER, if you have two eyes and a goddamn brain. Or one eye. Or one of Geordi La Forge's visors. Or fingers which can read interviews with J.J. Abrams in Braille. A single working ear, or a cochlear implant. A telepathic line of communication with the veiny brain scientists of Talos IV, even. It's not a well-kept secret. At this point, I bet Mad Men really is going to end with Don taking a nosedive out the window, just because it seems so obvious.
How about [...]
Nine for IX, a series of documentaries about women’s sports produced under ESPN’s wonderful 30 for 30 series, begins tonight with Venus Vs., a documentary by filmmaker Ava DuVernay. In 2007, Venus Williams helped achieve equal pay for women’s tennis players at Wimbledon. Venus Vs. tells that story. I spoke with DuVernay last week about Williams, her past films (My Mic Sounds Nice, I Will Follow, Middle of Nowhere, The Door) her writing process, and making the art that you want to make.
Conversation has been lightly edited.
Venus has been in the public eye since she was 14 years old, [...]
The To Do List, a comedy about a high school valedictorian seeking her sexual awakening in the summer before college, looks outrageous, and it's slightly off-putting to see Aubrey Plaza actually smile, but we have to acknowledge any movie that features a skort-in-sex moment. (Does anyone out there still own a skort?) The red band trailer (NSFW!) seems to sum things up quite succinctly, but it's in theaters July 26.
Ask women or men to name a living, publicly recognized charming man, and 10 out of 10 will say [REDACTED]. That there exists only one choice—and an aging one—proves that we live in a culture all but devoid of male charm.
Name a living, publicly recognized charming man. (Actors, mostly.) The question accompanies this article about how men have lost their charm, which starts taking some odd but entertaining turns almost right away ("Even in the most casual conversation, men are too often self-absorbed or mono-focused or—more commonly—guarded, distracted, and disengaged to an almost Aspergerian degree").
(AHP, what say you?)