We're in the heart of BAM's "Vengeance Is Hers" film series right now, can you feel it?! (Feb. 7 -18.) Hatred and bitterness in the air! Head over to the official site for useful information and plot synopses, and then come back here for more-superficial "reviews," in case you live in New York and are deciding which one[s] to go to, or if you'd want to watch at home, at any point. Actually the more I write and think about it, the less this seems useful to anyone. But, here it is anyway!
In news that is proving to be even more controversial than the Affleck-is-the-next-Batman cycle, somehow: Jason Segel will play the late David Foster Wallace in The End of the Tour, a movie based on Jason Lipsky's book about his road trip with the author. I am good with this! He's got the hair, and he'll have the bandana. Anyone read the book? [The Wrap]
Winter is coming, which means that streaming and/or snuggling season is upon us, which means that you too can use movie nights to get laid. Here, a short list of films to watch and cinematically-appropriate sex pairings, offered in reverse chronological order, so you can enjoy film sex like a fine wine that gets kinkier with age.
Holy Motors (2012): Gremlin noises, costume changes, lots of biting.
Shame (2011): Masturbation, desperation, fenestration sex.
Fish Tank (2009): It is not my fault that Netflix carries all of Michael Fassbender's guilt-sex oeuvre. The evening's accoutrements: Cockney accents, dancing in track suits, underage drunk sex you [...]
Three years later, an answer: Nicole Kidman is Grace Kelly in Grace of Monaco. Check out the trailer here. Proposed tagline: Can Nicole Kidman as Grace Kelly have it all? Elsewhere, Andre 3000 really is Jimi Hendrix, and zombie beavers are as real as hoverboards and shall be called Zombeavers. You can make your jokes, but I think the trailer already handled most of them.
Furniture Designer Train Token Collector
Heiress Carpenter/Miniature Golf Course Owner
Electronics Store Clerk eBay Super-Seller
Rich/Unclear Old Lady
Pediatrician Wedding Planner
Thank you, Cinefix, for getting children to reenact scenes from this year's best picture nominees (American Hustle, Captain Phillips, Dallas Buyers Club, Gravity, Her, Nebraska, Philomena, 12 Years a Slave, and The Wolf of Wall Street). Feeling very much for any kid still figuring out her Rs (it gets better) and also rather impressed at how much full-body effort it takes a child to open a car door (see: Nebraska). [via]
The Scary Short Film Fest: potentially fun, depending on your horror-movie appetite/tolerance? Wes Craven is judging, Studio 360 is hosting, and submissions have to be anywhere from 1 to 30 seconds. You can shoot them "on Vine, Instagram, Super 8, or using any other method to create an original film" (although you're eventually supposed to submit via YouTube or Vimeo), and the theme is "young genius." All submissions so far can be watched here.
If you want in, videos are due midnight, March 2, and people can submit as many times as they'd like. It was so crazy because I was just taking a regular Instagram video AND TH—
“Oh great. Now Cameron Diaz's vagina is going to be all over the internet.”
“What? They didn’t show it.”
“Oh, OK. I had this idea that you actually saw it, pressed against the windshield.”
“No. My God. Of course not. What are you, a moron?”
"OK, I don’t know! You said: 'There's a scene where Cameron Diaz rubs her vagina up against a car windshield,' so I just assumed you actually saw it.”
“The movie would be X-rated. When have you ever seen an X-rated movie?”
“OK, forget it! Jesus."
“Cormac McCarthy is so sexist.”
“Are you serious?”
“I just don’t know why that [...]