And I have never understood the distinction of “primary” partner. Does that imply we have secondary and tertiary partners, too? Can my primary partner be my sister or child or best friend, or does it have to be someone I am having sex with? I have two friends who are sisters who have lived together for 15 years and raised a daughter. Are they not partners because they don’t have sex? And many married couples I know haven’t had sex for years. Are they any less partners?
Maria Bello for all the marbles! "I would like to consider myself a 'whatever,'" she writes at the end of this Modern Love [...]
This week's Modern Love column is called "The View From the Victim Room."
Everyone is gentle. The price of admission is abuse. In this court, your ex is referred to as the Respondent. I was there because my ex beat me. If anyone had asked me before my beating if I would defend myself when attacked, I would have said yes, of course I would.
Not an easy read, but it's beautifully written, and pieces like this are crucial: raw, startling, sensate reminders that these statistics translate not just to isolated incidents but to years and lifetimes spent negotiating the grip of trauma.
Infertility treatment can be full of humorous moments. For instance, there’s the moment the two of you suddenly realize you have no container in which to put a sperm sample you must rush over to the lab.
There’s sticking a thermometer in your mouth each day to gauge if one of your ovaries has sent out something at the correct time. Then there are the times you’re sure you are ovulating and rush home to have the sex neither of you remotely feels like having, only to realize you’ve read the little ovulation stick incorrectly.
This week's Modern Love column, by Deborah Derrickson Kossmann, was particularly good.
Related: Did [...]
"Almost every day of our honeymoon, and off and on throughout our newlywed year, one of us would say: 'Hey, honey, let’s get divorced for five seconds, O.K.? Great, now that that’s out of the way …' People look askance when we joke like this and laugh uncomfortably when my husband (still) introduces me as his 'first wife.' But the gallows humor is something positive, part of what made us seek out couples therapy instead of throwing in the towel when things got tough, part of what made my husband say, 'No, I will not,' when I asked him to leave during a rough patch in our seventh year of [...]