For Cosmopolitan, Lauren Bans asks a professional, "Is my vibrator ruining my vagina?"; at Slate, Amanda Hess investigates the magazine's "most infamous sex tip." (The donut. No spoilers. Go read.) [Cosmo, Slate]
I am (pretty newly) 23 years old. I am done with high school, done with college, working my first Office Job in a Big City. It's pretty cool except for this thing that I am freaking out about this one thing: I am a virgin. Not too terrible, right? A lot of my friends are virgins, and a lot of them aren't. Oh well! I have given exactly one blowjob and I don't think I did it right.
But here's the other thing: I have never masturbated. It goes without saying I've never had an orgasm. I've given it a halfhearted effort, maybe, three times, with my uhm, fingers, and it [...]
"I’m a 34-year-old woman who has never masturbated. I know it sounds crazy. Many people swear that masturbation is a critical part of being a sexually satisfied woman, but I’ve never been able to bring myself to do it. … As a feminist, I rationally understand that I’ve in some ways internalized the social stigmas around female sexuality, and I don’t know how I’ll ever get over them. I just don’t want to have that kind of interaction … with myself. … It’s not that I don’t believe that masturbation is a good thing—for other people. I’m just thoroughly disgusted by the idea of touching myself."
Aw girl. Life [...]
A tiny vibrator is required for this experiment because, unless you are Dagny Taggart, lurching around on a moving train is not an aphrodisiac. The smallest vibrator in my possession is an Iroha Sakura vibrator from Babeland. About the size of my palm, I shoved it into my underwear before waddling erotically to the train station, grabbing a gyro from a halal cart on the way.
Drake says on his new album, “I just want some head in a comfortable bed, it can all be so simple.” Apparently, Drizzy, it can’t: On the train, I clandestinely turned the vibrator on, but couldn’t figure out a comfortable way to sit because they [...]
I satisfy myself quite often. All this self-stimulation not only tires me out, but it creates a high standard for physical pleasure because I'm the only one who knows exactly what I want. Masturbation is isolating: I am more comfortable orgasming by myself than with another person.
He goes on: "Women have cried after sex because I didn't ejaculate" but that "I don't mind if I don't." Hmm, stop masturbating so much? I don't know, this is bumming [...]
…like, we don't know, you're forgetting to eat, or bathe, or something?
The Utne Reader's new article on the rise of "Dirty Girls Ministries" may provide you with some fascinating background reading. Or masturbation material, depending on what you're into:
Dirty Girls member Amy Christine Proctor, a self-described addict and a flight attendant from Colorado, started masturbating while she was visiting chat rooms on AOL. Unmarried and a virgin at 30, Proctor has struggled with her sexual identity since puberty, believing her same-sex thoughts are a sin. Last year, she says, she was masturbating almost daily, sometimes twice a day. To rehabilitate herself, she became an active [...]
Happy Lady Porn Day, again:
As to the objects used by women, both married and unmarried, for the purpose of masturbation … the commonest object is the woman’s most handy implement, the hairpin or hatpin. We have often had to remove hairpins and hatpins from the female bladder and vagina.
Corks, ointment jars, pocket knives, rubber balls, paraffin candles, pessaries, perfume bottles, spoons, billiard balls, apples, carrots, etc. etc. are a few of the things which the poor girls and women use to induce an orgasm…
Are you listening, people who have never orgasmed? Some really solid ideas here.
[Many thanks to Jennifer.]