Posts Tagged: marriage

"Hadn’t Cain Killed Abel for Less?"

Connie became pregnant, but my belly did not grow of child but of wild. And where her baby attached to her and sucked the life source, dormant things grew in me that only fed to feed again. And where her skin smoothed with life, mine grew sallow of contempt. And where she could no longer bring her knees or forehead to the floor in prayer, I made rakat after rakat in empty servitude—bargaining, reasoning, demanding. The single prayer I said was the baby prayer, the fastening prayer, the mooring prayer, the prayer that said I deserved more than what was received.

It reads like a smack-you-in-the-face-beautiful prose [...]


Coming Out Late In the Game, Embracing the Inner Bridezilla, and Recharging Your Libido

I'm in recovery from a year and a half of sleeping with someone who manipulated me into doing things I wasn't comfortable with, told me I was worthless, decided he didn't want to be exclusive (I didn't either) but deserved to know in explicit detail about any hookups I had, and didn't listen when I said no about anything ever. So he was bad for me, and I said goodbye four months ago and haven't talked to him since.

So, he was a jerk, and also I was bad at communicating. He'd ask if I like something, and I'd say "not really," and he'd do it again and tell [...]


Interview with My Mom, the Scientist

When I was three years old, my mom used to take me to the library, find me a pile of books, and let me sit and read for up to an hour while she went and browsed the stacks. When I was 14 years old, I made my mom paint my room black, and I spent a lot of time watching The X-Files and being mortified by her. But she never forgot that I could also be that first kind of patient, inquisitive girl, even when I insisted on listening to Walkmen tapes of Queen’s Greatest Hits while hiking in Glacier Park.

Like so many of us, I didn’t fully [...]


Troubled Daughters, Twisted Wives: Scary Stories by Women, About Women

I adore crime fiction, especially tales from the ‘30s and ‘40s and ‘50s that fall into the noir genre, and I also love detective fiction, especially when those detectives are women. But there’s been a piece missing in my fandom for psychological thrillers, detective fiction, and noir. That’s the domestic suspense genre, which includes creepy tales of home, those who occupy home, and beyond: think “deceitful children, deranged husbands, vengeful friends, and the murderous wives they unleashed.” Sound good?

Sarah Weinman has edited “a salute to the real femmes fatales of the domestic suspense genre” in her new book [...]


Reasons Why Everyone is Engaged But Me: A Sampling

I have been on this earth for nearly 30 years and I still don't know how to accessorize.

Sometimes I lie and tell the dry cleaner that a dress is "just a really long shirt" so they'll charge me $3.75 instead of $10.

Last week I went four (4) days without showering.

I thought being loved would save me.

I am still riding the waves of goodwill I felt when I gave $20 to the beautiful boy who plays violin in my subway station. This was, like, eight months ago.

I keep saying I'm a vegetarian but a couple of weeks ago in Texas I ate some BBQ chicken and [...]


18 Brides in a Year

If I count events attended plus invitations received, my year in weddings tallies up at 18. I sometimes try to unload a bit of my social vertigo in regards to this figure, and people are like "Whaaaat," and I reply that I know, it's crazy, there is no good reason that someone with my lewd conversational habits should possess even 18 friends. But nonetheless 18 is the number! 18 weddings, 18 save-the-dates fluttering off the refrigerator door when I drunkenly seek my snacks. 18 clues about 36 families' pasts (the curious middle names, the mom I didn't know lived in Charleston), 18 aesthetic indicators of the present (the invitation pressed [...]


For Romance, Just Add Morphine

"Man Wakes Up From Surgery, Is Re-Introduced to His Wife."


The Best Time I Married My Gay Best Friend in Vegas

Plastic trees and fabric foliage behind the Elvis impersonator distracted me from the fact that my father wasn’t walking me down the aisle. Instead, Emir and I danced our way down, and I felt as if we were acting in a high school musical.

Elvis spun around, his black hair slicked up with grease. He was wearing oversized sunglasses and a shiny red silk rhinestone-studded jumpsuit. Our friend Omar clapped on the sidelines, snapping pictures all the while for our INS album. It was the most fun I’d had since the end of my first engagement.

“The minister is gay,” Emir said into my ear. “And I think he might [...]


Nazi Bride School in the '30s: "Women must be the spiritual caregivers and the secret queens of our people"

Hairpin superpal Emily Greenhouse has a fascinating piece up at the New Yorker about the "Reichsbräuteschule, or Reich Bride School, set up by the Nazis 'to mould housewives out of office girls.'"

A villa was erected in 1937 on Schwanenwerder Island, on Berlin’s Wannsee Lake. In this pretend model household, young women—many of them teen-agers—would live in groups of twenty, spending six weeks, “preferably two months before their wedding day, to recuperate spiritually and physically, to forget the daily worries associated with their previous professions, to find the way and to feel the joy for their new lives as wives.” Scholtz-Klink further barred [...]


5 Ways to Engage Your Core

1. Take your core to Central Park, cover it with your hands, and whisper, “Will you marry me?”

2. Surprise your core with a choreographed Flashmob. When all the dancing is done, have all your friends breathlessly watch as you ask for your core’s hand in marriage. Tip: Your core will probably be crying, so bring some Kleenex!

3. Go to Jared—not the store, that creepy guy that sells pot to high school kids. Smoke some and wait until your core is really relaxed before you ask it to spend the rest of its life with you.

4. Go to all of your favorite spots in the city. Draw clues [...]