Posts Tagged: marriage
11

How To Change Your Name In 41 Easy Steps

1.) Practice saying your new name. Say it aloud to friends, family, and police officers. Ask yourself these questions: Can I pronounce it? Can I spell it? Can I remember it?

2.) If you are changing your name as part of getting married, proceed to step 2b.) If not, skip to step 3.

2b.) Go online and print out an application for your marriage license. On the application, there will be a question asking what you want your new name to be, followed by a large blank space. Whatever you write here will be your new name! Congratulations! Mazel tov!

2c.) The application will most likely have some rules [...]

9

On Pheasants and Polyamory

I found the pheasants accidentally. I’d gone looking for the avenue of shoes on Brush Street, a new art installation in Detroit, and got a bit lost. When I stopped to orient myself, I saw a single pheasant through a thicket of tall grass in a vacant lot next to a sagging two-story. The house had an old Ford F150 parked in front. I saw an empty kiddie pool, a plastic circle in turquoise with green fish printed on the bottom. I heard soft crowing, and walked stealthily towards the sound

As I approached, I saw more pheasants through the tall grass. I wanted to make out details, but the [...]

16

My Ideal Weddings, By Age

My ideal wedding, age 6: The ringbearer is a puppy, the cake is chocolate. The wedding is held in a beautiful old church because beautiful old churches are where all people get married—even Jews from New Jersey.

My ideal wedding, age 9: Basically, it’s The Princess Bride but starring Michael J. Fox as Westley, me as Buttercup. And plenty of unpoisoned wine at a mostly traditional feast, except that there’ll be a whole lot of chicken fingers.

My ideal wedding, age 12: Themed weddings can be quite fun and unique. My wedding will be Broadway musical-themed, just like my bat mitzvah. My future husband will rescue me from some ogre [...]

32

Leftover Woman

I am supine in a plush recliner. A woman is kneeling before me, pressing her thumbs into my feet. My friend Jon, a Chinese-American Tsinghua professor, is next to me in an identical chair. The TV in front of us is switched on a nature channel. The leopard pouncing on an unsuspecting gazelle makes sense in any language.

A man is rubbing Jon’s feet. “Is that your girlfriend?” the masseur asks him in Mandarin, nodding to me. “No,” Jon says, “she’s an old friend.”

“How old is she?” the masseur asks. Jon asks me and I answer 29 in English although I understand the Chinese. Jon translates and the masseur [...]

3

Stronger Together, Boring Alone: An Interview With Eva Michon

As I Skype with Eva Michon, I can hear her dog wheezing loudly; she's having a powerful dream. The light coming through Eva’s Los Angeles bedroom is impossibly golden— California sunshine in the middle of a drought. The editor of the oh-so-cool Bad Day Magazine, Michon is also known for music videos for bands like Owen Pallett, Trust, and for her husband, Sebastien Grainger.

This month, her feature documentary Life After Death From Above 1979 is available on Vimeo on Demand. The film follows the ten-year relationship between the formative garage rock two-piece Death From Above 1979, made up of drummer Sebastien Grainger and [...]

21

Preexisting Conditions

My husband is at the DMV taking both the written and the behind the wheel portions of his driver's test. I am not married to a 16-year-old; rather, this is happening because my husband's been driving our family minivan without a license for the last four years.

We had planned to go hiking and grill out with our two young daughters today. We both work full-time and the two of us rarely have a free day that aligns. But he told me over breakfast that he had to go handle this—previously, we'd both found out at a court date for a previous traffic violation that his driving privileges had actually [...]

10

Jane Talks to the Marrieds

Our beloved Jane Marie is going to be talking to married couples every week at Cosmo, and her first chat is with Lindsey and Erin:

Can you tell me the main difference between being in a dating relationship and being married?

Lindsey: Married is better. Erin: Dating sucks! Lindsey: I think when you're dating, you're protecting yourself the whole time. Erin: Or less invested in some way… Lindsey: But if you've found someone who can actually commit to you, like, “We're gonna make this work, come hell or high water,” then I don't have to protect myself. I'm not holding back like I did when I was dating.

[...]
2

'Til Death Do Us Part

I’ve been telling the same joke for, like, fifteen years. The joke was probably funnier when I was twelve, but it still makes my mother laugh like nothing else: wide-eyed and so serious, I say, “If you really want to get to know your spouse,” with a pause for comedic effect,” divorce them.”

I saw Gone Girl last week and realized that the book and film make the same joke with only the slightest variation: if you really want to get to know your spouse, kill them.

53

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love My Second Wedding

Three weeks ago, two days after our wedding, my new husband Paul and I borrowed a car and drove into the Colorado Rocky Mountains. Our shared future rolled out before us, as epic and seismic as the landscape. We nestled ourselves on the bank of Boulder Creek, intoxicated with the charged intimacy of being newlyweds on a mountainside soaked with sun, and I simultaneously tried to luxuriate in this awareness of love and also shake off my awareness of the history that preceded it.

I’m newly, and ecstatically, wed to Paul, but I’m not new to being wed. When I was twenty-five, I married my college boyfriend. The wedding was [...]

20

Interview with a Woman Who Recently Discovered She Loves Group Sex

Fiona is a woman in her late twenties who lives on the East Coast with her husband Eric and their three-year-old.

So, we’re talking because you recently had a new experience.

My husband and I went to a swingers club for the first time!

How long had you guys been throwing around the idea?

A couple months—we talked about it a lot, but stopped short of making it an actual possibility. Then very recently my husband was just like, “Let’s just do it, we keep talking about it, I found this place in Atlantic City.” And we decided to go for it, and we went on Friday, and [...]