Posts Tagged: marriage
1

Interview with a Woman Who Recently Discovered She Loves Group Sex

Fiona is a woman in her late twenties who lives on the East Coast with her husband Eric and their three-year-old.

So, we’re talking because you recently had a new experience.

My husband and I went to a swingers club for the first time!

How long had you guys been throwing around the idea?

A couple months—we talked about it a lot, but stopped short of making it an actual possibility. Then very recently my husband was just like, “Let’s just do it, we keep talking about it, I found this place in Atlantic City.” And we decided to go for it, and we went on Friday, and [...]

22

It Was Really Lovely Meeting You

I slid into my assigned window seat and closed my eyes. Dear airplane gods, I silently prayed, please, please, please leave the middle seat empty for the next 15 hours. I was still begging the universe for this travel favor when I felt someone settle in beside me. Too bad, I thought. Then I opened my eyes on my dreamy new neighbor.

“Hey there,” he said. He had an Australian accent. His blue eyes and unkempt blond curls were coupled with the kind of three-day old scruff that makes me want to move somewhere mountainous populated by men who chop their own kindling.

“Hi,” I said.

While two flight attendants [...]

39

Reasons Why Everyone is Engaged But Me: A Sampling

I have been on this earth for nearly 30 years and I still don't know how to accessorize.

Sometimes I lie and tell the dry cleaner that a dress is "just a really long shirt" so they'll charge me $3.75 instead of $10.

Last week I went four (4) days without showering.

I thought being loved would save me.

I am still riding the waves of goodwill I felt when I gave $20 to the beautiful boy who plays violin in my subway station. This was, like, eight months ago.

I keep saying I'm a vegetarian but a couple of weeks ago in Texas I ate some BBQ chicken and [...]

71

18 Brides in a Year

If I count events attended plus invitations received, my year in weddings tallies up at 18. I sometimes try to unload a bit of my social vertigo in regards to this figure, and people are like "Whaaaat," and I reply that I know, it's crazy, there is no good reason that someone with my lewd conversational habits should possess even 18 friends. But nonetheless 18 is the number! 18 weddings, 18 save-the-dates fluttering off the refrigerator door when I drunkenly seek my snacks. 18 clues about 36 families' pasts (the curious middle names, the mom I didn't know lived in Charleston), 18 aesthetic indicators of the present (the invitation pressed [...]

11

Leftover Woman

I am supine in a plush recliner. A woman is kneeling before me, pressing her thumbs into my feet. My friend Jon, a Chinese-American Tsinghua professor, is next to me in an identical chair. The TV in front of us is switched on a nature channel. The leopard pouncing on an unsuspecting gazelle makes sense in any language.

A man is rubbing Jon’s feet. “Is that your girlfriend?” the masseur asks him in Mandarin, nodding to me. “No,” Jon says, “she’s an old friend.”

“How old is she?” the masseur asks. Jon asks me and I answer 29 in English although I understand the Chinese. Jon translates and the masseur [...]

2

"Today, female infidelity is the biggest challenge to the male-dominated status quo"

This conversation between Hanna Rosin and therapist Esther Perel (who "accepts only patients who are involved in affairs, and the vast majority of them, she says, are 'content' in their marriages") is fascinating. "Very often we don’t go elsewhere because we are looking for another person," says Perel. "We go elsewhere because we are looking for another self. It isn’t so much that we want to leave the person we are with as we want to leave the person we have become."

Other tidbits: "In America, lying can never be an act of caring"; "Female infidelity is the biggest challenge to the male-dominated status quo"; "Therapists are the worst!"; "For me, [...]

5

The Best Time I Married My Gay Best Friend in Vegas

Plastic trees and fabric foliage behind the Elvis impersonator distracted me from the fact that my father wasn’t walking me down the aisle. Instead, Emir and I danced our way down, and I felt as if we were acting in a high school musical.

Elvis spun around, his black hair slicked up with grease. He was wearing oversized sunglasses and a shiny red silk rhinestone-studded jumpsuit. Our friend Omar clapped on the sidelines, snapping pictures all the while for our INS album. It was the most fun I’d had since the end of my first engagement.

“The minister is gay,” Emir said into my ear. “And I think he might [...]

14

The Engagement Phone Cover and The Wedding-Industrial Complex

Let’s start with some statistics.

Cost of the average American wedding in 2012 = $27,000 (not including Honeymoon).

Cost of the average New York wedding = $65,000.

Median U.S. income = $45,000.

Dollars generated by the wedding industry every year = $30 billion.

That includes dresses, elaborate engagement photos, groomsmen gifts, monogrammed handkerchiefs, signature cocktails, bachelorette parties. The soul/love/capital crushing process has been dubbed the “wedding industrial complex,” a cold term that connotes just how effectively capitalism has insinuated itself in an institution supposedly characterized by love and other priceless emotions.

The wedding industrial complex is not without its detractors: Jezebel has entire category devoted to deriding it [...]

3

"Hadn’t Cain Killed Abel for Less?"

Connie became pregnant, but my belly did not grow of child but of wild. And where her baby attached to her and sucked the life source, dormant things grew in me that only fed to feed again. And where her skin smoothed with life, mine grew sallow of contempt. And where she could no longer bring her knees or forehead to the floor in prayer, I made rakat after rakat in empty servitude—bargaining, reasoning, demanding. The single prayer I said was the baby prayer, the fastening prayer, the mooring prayer, the prayer that said I deserved more than what was received.

It reads like a smack-you-in-the-face-beautiful prose [...]

16

Coming Out Late In the Game, Embracing the Inner Bridezilla, and Recharging Your Libido

I'm in recovery from a year and a half of sleeping with someone who manipulated me into doing things I wasn't comfortable with, told me I was worthless, decided he didn't want to be exclusive (I didn't either) but deserved to know in explicit detail about any hookups I had, and didn't listen when I said no about anything ever. So he was bad for me, and I said goodbye four months ago and haven't talked to him since.

So, he was a jerk, and also I was bad at communicating. He'd ask if I like something, and I'd say "not really," and he'd do it again and tell [...]