I could write an entire book about horses and how into them I am, but let's just say that I was a horse from ages eight to fourteen. Former classmates still ask me, "Were you that girl who drew ponies and crawled around on all fours ALL the time?" You guys, I've seen a lot of horse movies.
— A chubby toddler. It would have been an angel, but heaven is merely a construct to distract us from the inevitability of death.
— Tub of Ben and Jerry’s Chubby Hubby. To calm you down when you start thinking about whether heaven is merely a construct to distract us from the inevitability of death.
Frank Lesser envisions Tattoos for the Terrified, and Lisa Hanawalt illustrates.
I don’t get it. Why do people love monkeys so much? Chimpanzees aren’t cute, they look like old men with hormonal imbalances, and they’re uncanny and creepy. Plus, their hair looks wiry and unpleasant to touch, doesn’t it? And yeah, I know that monkeys and apes aren’t the same thing, but I lump them together as the poop-hurlers of the animal kingdom.
My monkey-loving boyfriend dragged me to see Rise of the Planet of the Apes on an opening Friday night with a rowdy audience, and here are my notes and drawings (MAY CONTAIN VAGUE SPOILERS)!
• The Toy Fair isn't for kids. The show's held yearly at the Javits Center, Manhattan's main convention facility (a.k.a. massive gray box), and it's full of serious adults in business suits with corporate accounts. It's not supposed to be fun. We'll see about that!
• Toy Fair badges are only available for pros, so my boyfriend's mom generously registered me and my friend Tim as employees of her chia seed company. My badge says "CHIA POWER/Assistant Buyer." We'll avoid walking by chia products for fear of having to hold our own in a chia conversation.
I like Ryan Gosling. I liked him in The Notebook, Half Nelson, Lars and the Real Girl, and Google Image Search. And driving around LA at night while listening to pop music is my favorite thing on Earth, so seeing Drive was a no-brainer.
WARNING: CONTAINS SOME SPOILERS.
• The opening of the movie is so cool, with the Kavinsky music and the retro font and everything. I'll be happy if this is all that happens for the rest of the movie.
• Ryan Gosling's character reminds me a little of Clint Eastwood in The Good, The Bad and the Ugly, maybe because they're both nameless. But there's also a [...]