Future In-Laws, Appealing Coworkers, and Lesbians With Interests (?!)
205
Transitions, Femme Baldness, and "INEXTINGUISHABLE PASSION"
Okay, A Queer Chick, here goes: my partner is a trans woman. When we met she was a man, and we've been together 15 years now. She transitioned about four years ago, and we went through all kinds of shit with therapy and counselling and anti-depressants and all that. We're pretty stable now, good communication, doing good overall. I love her even more than I loved him (as a man and a frustrated trans woman, she could be a definite asshole with the misdirected anger and all). But here's my problem: I don't know how to have sex with another woman! Her libido took a dive with the transition; we've fooled around [...]
262
It Grows Back
“Oh my God, I can't watch,” says Tim, covering his face with his hands.
“Are you ready?” Derek asks from behind me.
I squeeze my hands into fists, nails digging into my palms. My heart is pounding, but when I speak, my voice is low and controlled. “Do it.”
I am fifteen years old, standing in the hall outside my math classroom, and my hair is straight and soft and — for this last glorious moment — comes down to my hips. Having long hair is central to my identity, the way that a hairstyle can only really be in adolescence. It's the one thing that, despite my [...]
64
Homo for the Holidays
Ah, the winter holidays! A time for getting together with family, friends, and loved ones, eating food and exchanging presents, enjoying traditions that have been handed down through the generations with the express purpose of driving you insane if you have to hear that goddamn "Little Drummer Boy" song one more time.
Yes, the holidays are pretty much always fraught with conversational discomfort and smiling through gritted teeth. But for those of us repping the LGBTQ community, there are some unique social minefields to dance around. Here's what you need to know to survive the end of the year without taking a sledgehammer to your family home, or — [...]
135
First Loves, Breakup Guilt, and Rainbows Painted With Watercolors
I've just found out that my very first love is pregnant. I found out through my bff, who is also pregnant. Back in the day, before I knew that these feelings I had for First Love meant I was queer (duh), we three were a posse. First Love and I don't have contact anymore, except through bff. I am not planning to be pregnant or have kids, and I'm fine with that. I'm also totally in love with my male partner, and have no regrets about giving up things I love about being single, including ladies. Nostalgia, but no regrets. But I've been feeling a bit restless the last [...]
119
Nagging Attractions and the Strategies of Lesbianism Convention (SLC)
Queer Chick, I would appreciate some sage advice. Or at least a moment of your thyme.
I have been in a relationship with a wonderful woman for the past six years. She's a few years older than me, and while I'm not her first girlfriend, she's mine. I'm also what you'd call a gold star, despite classifying myself as bisexual (we both do. In Kinsean terms, I'm about a 2-3, she's about a 4-5). I got into this relationship when I was just out of my teens, in my final year of college. We moved in together relatively quickly (I know, cliché) and things got serious almost immediately.
We [...]
142
Pronouns, Unexpected Crushes, and the "Repressed Lesbian" Cliché
I've got a problem, and I don't know how to put it without possibly being offensive in some way. I'm seventeen and I've discovered that I like ladies. However, through circumstances (mostly religious ones), I've never actually spent more than five minutes in the presence of another lady-who-likes-ladies. And from what I've read, lesbianism as a culture is just as much a performance as gender is. There's no biological hardwiring that gets lesbians liking Indigo Girls or Tegan and Sara or motorbikes or whatever. So my question is this: as someone who has no access to a queer community (for the time being — hopefully, in a year or [...]
363
Becoming a Better Lazy Vegetarian
I've recently gone mostly vegetarian. But most of my cheater, easy-through-the-week meals involve meat, so I'm struggling a bit to motivate myself to cook delicious food on weeknights. This week I ended up eating toast every evening and buying lunch, and now my wallet is empty. I also think I'm maybe not getting enough vitamin B? Or something? I was really anxious over the weekend and then I went out and got a burger and I felt better, but I really don't want to be doing that if I can avoid it. Do you have any tips on quick and easy meals, or things I can make sure to [...]
39
Ask a Queer Chick About Cynthia Nixon
All I’ve wanted to do this past week is take Cynthia Nixon out, buy her a cappuccino and a scone, and spend an hour or so commiserating over how awful people can be. —The wise Lindsay Miller, over on Thought Catalog.
144
Yoga Sirens, "Starey Dinners," and Gay Teens on TV
I have only ever gone out with men but recently met a girl I'm attracted to and who's become very important to me. As soon as we met, we became close friends straight away, and for the past few months have seen each other every weekend and do lots of datelike thinks like go for epic starey dinners and extremely long walks. However, I have *no idea* whether the thought of being anything other than friends has even crossed her mind. I know one option is to just *ask her already* but I'm really worried about harming the friendship. I'm trying to get a sense of whether this is [...]
