When I count the times I’ve taken trains without tickets, or cabs without cash, or snuck onto subways with an open bottle of wine, or nicked $8 nailpolish from Rite-Aid while smiling at the security guy on my way out, or paid rent/bills/my friends back late, or been the last person on an airplane with luggage 10 tons over the limit, or crossed the Canada-US border without a passport, or climbed the fences of public pools or parks or private property while high on coke or molly or mushrooms or, once, all of the above, it occurs to me that even if Lindsay Lohan is forgiven her sins I’m still [...]
Ooh, Liz & Dick — the Lifetime movie about Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton — finally premieres this Sunday, but Kate Aurthur saw it last night and loved it, obviously, right?
"I can neither confirm or deny at this time." —LiLo's rep, regarding the TMZ-confirmed rumor that she (Lindsay) will be posing nude for Playboy for $1 million. Who among us wouldn't [become a famous child actor with crazy parents who gets too involved with drugs and alcohol and has our life scrutinized], though?
One great thing you could do instead of "working" today is to look up all of these SNL sketches in which cast members break character in full—and they sort of are some of the most memorable clips, especially in recent memory—and then cry-laugh at your desk for a while. Also, man, that young Lindsay Lohan appearance in the inaugural Debbie Downer, remember that? That aired the day after Mean Girls premiered in 2004. Cry. Laugh. Cry.
"A few tables away, a distinguished-looking middle-aged man patiently waits for the actress. He has a stack of presents for her." —So ends the first paragraph of this week's New York Times Magazine feature, "Here Is What Happens When You Cast Lindsay Lohan in Your Movie." I've been sitting here trying to think of a less crass/more nuanced way of describing what I'm feeling, but I can't: this article is seriously almost giving me an orgasm.
Further evidence of Lindsay Lohan's poor decision making ability has surfaced today: sexy portraits shot by Terry Richardson at the Chateau Marmont. Lindsay, the Chateau is a hotel and Terry Richardson is Terry Richardson. You are so weird.