This story is an update to this story, published here in April 2012.
Six months ago, I sat waiting in my gynecologist’s exam room chair, fully clothed and wishing I were anywhere else. At that particular moment, I’d even have preferred being naked and spread-eagled on the paper-lined bed. It’s not true what they say about the stirrups being the worst part of the ladyparts exam room: it’s the chair. Once you’re clothed and in the chair, it means you’re there to talk.
You never forget your first time debriefing with your gynecologist. Mine was four years ago, at age 22, when I sat crumpled in a chair [...]
So you just graduated. Congratulations. Hopefully you spent the weekend patting yourself on the back. It took me eight years to graduate from college. And that was in the '90s, when the internet wasn’t even any good yet. But you got it done. And you deserve to feel the accomplishment of it. But you may be feeling something today, in this moment, that you haven’t ever felt before. Concern for your future. What will you be in five years, five months, five minutes? You temporarily experienced concern for your future when you applied for colleges. But there are always safety schools. Life has no safety schools, except maybe the [...]
I'm making small talk with a group of new acquaintances when the problem of spousal socks comes up. He leaves his dirty socks everywhere, says one woman. The group, mostly made up of married women, has her back. We nod in understanding, all of us innocent of leaving socks lying about. The lone man in the group sticks up for his gender. I'm the one who picks up her socks, he says. We cut men a little slack then, but there is a widespread agreement that crosses gender lines. Stray socks: always the other person's fault.
When I moved out of the house my husband and I [...]
Part FOUR: The Notwist
(Read parts 1-3 here.)
hurt feelings : listening pleasure = 1 : 7
It was 2005 when I moved to a small, East Coast town for law school and began exploring the mate-finding potential of the Internet. My classmates made for an instant but insular peer group, and field trips to bars yielded nothing of promise. I ended more than a few evenings assessing the tiny pool of local eligible bachelors from the safety of my own bed, doing zip code and interest searches for men of a certain age on Friendster. Although I wasn’t sure what to [...]
A friend of mine recently shared this comic, which is an amazing peek at what it feels like to be a woman and suffer the near-universal scorn of boys in geek culture. At least … I think it’s an amazing peek. I’m not a woman and haven’t experienced that unique brand of shitty exclusionism, so I can’t say for sure. I have lived through my own brand of exclusionism, however (at least, I believed I did, but more on that later), so I wanted to share my interpretation of why this happens.
Let me first make a few disclaimers. What follows are not excuses but possible explanations. The behavior is inexcusable, [...]
Savannah is a 26-year-old woman who grew up believing that she was the reincarnation of her dead aunt Laura.
Hi Savannah! What are you doing right at this moment?
Hi! I'm lying in a hammock with my beagle.
What?? I am … very jealous. Let’s just get right into it. Do you remember ever not believing that you were your aunt Laura? Did anyone have to convince you, or did you always think it was true?
I always believed it. It was always, always a thing. It started when I was a newborn and my parents brought me to meet the family. When they handed me to my great-grandmother [...]