Darlene was a pretty, blond 19-year-old with a 10-month-old baby girl whom she wheeled into my office in a ragged umbrella stroller. Darlene, the baby, and the baby’s father, Keith, had been living with Keith’s parents in a row house in northeast Philly. Keith and Darlene apparently argued a lot, and one day, during a fight about Darlene’s wanting Keith to watch the baby so she could go out with her girlfriends, Keith put his hands around Darlene’s neck and tried to choke her. Darlene had filed in court for and received a protection order to keep Keith away from her and the baby. Keith, in response, had turned around [...]
Dear Office “Hottie,”
I’m very sorry to hear that you were fired on this cold and unforgiving autumn day. In our last moments together, I feel the irresistible urge to lay bare my deepest and most ardently held feelings for you. You see, all these years I have been shrouding from you the simple truth: I find you relatively pleasant most of the time! In a place where every coworker has an Instagram account for his dog, and every intern leaves early on Tuesdays for her soap-making class, you were only a little bit intolerable. And how I have clung to you, my dearest work friend, my only ally!
1. You finally come to terms with the fact that you're not a good liar. You were an okay enough liar to get off the three-week-long medical malpractice suit, but you can’t figure out a good excuse to get off a civil case involving a 12-year-old being hit by a car (he’s fine, everyone) while crossing in the middle of the street.
2. You start having a week of bad luck. It begins when jury selection takes two days to complete, and continues when you are chosen last as an alternate, have to make an emergency call to a doctor to get your birth control refilled, and lose your [...]