1. Crush exclusively on boys until you see t.A.T.u.'s “All The Things She Said” video at age 10.
2. Realize that girls can like girls, too.
3. Realize quickly that a lot of people in Arkansas circa 2002 think homosexuality is unacceptable.
4. Quash any non-platonic feelings for girls.
5. Date no one until high school; then, date only boys.
6. Crush on a femme bisexual girl in ninth grade.
7. Crush on her girlfriend, who wears clothes traditionally worn by teenage boys and has the cutest freckles.
8. Tell your mom that said femme bisexual girl is bisexual. Your mother says it's disgusting and unnatural and even [...]