Posts Tagged: jim behrle
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Relation Ships

203

Princess Problems, Volume II

186

Jim Behrle Wants to Know

1. Jim Behrle: I am moving to New Jersey! And I will have my own room for the first time in a while. Is it OK that I plan to decorate my room like an 11-year-old boy? Would that be a turnoff to the ladies? Or just people in general? I'm 40 now and am trying to tuck my shirt in lately, but I'm just not sure that it's me. So I bought some posters: Vinny Testeverde of the Jets, Derrick Coleman of the Nets, Bobby Bonilla of the Mets, and Martin Brodeur of the Devils. Sports heroes all. I've had a Spiderman comforter for a while. And a Burger [...]

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Win a Jim Behrle Valentine

Valentine's Day Approacheth, and you can be a winner! Do something nice for somebody else today and let us know about it in the comments fields or by sending us an email at ididsomethingnice@thehairpin.com, and you could win a special Jim Behrle poem dedicated to you this Valentine's Day. Our exclusive team of Niceness Judges will decide who is the nicest! Go nice crazy!

Update: Winners here!

81

In Praise of Donuts: A (Slightly) Modified Sonnet

People, Happy National Donut Day!

When our pride in pastries goes on display.

Which is my favorite? Never choose one!

There are dozens, it's a big conundrum.

Glazed are classic and very delicious.

Boston Creme gleefully unnutritious.

Cruellers, overlooked and underrated.

The greatness of chocolate goes undebated.

But let us praise unnatural colors!

Covered in pink, those I love most.

Sprinkles are Western Civ's best invention.

Just the coconut one deserves detention,

White and so messy, bland as masking tape.

I eat them all! I'll die at 48!

I wish the hole part was donut-filled, too.

I'd quit my job, go completely kablew.

Donuts, my heart belongs only to [...]

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Princess Problems

31

Relationsushi

144

What the Hell Should You Do With Your Life?

So you just graduated. Congratulations. Hopefully you spent the weekend patting yourself on the back. It took me eight years to graduate from college. And that was in the '90s, when the internet wasn’t even any good yet. But you got it done. And you deserve to feel the accomplishment of it. But you may be feeling something today, in this moment, that you haven’t ever felt before. Concern for your future. What will you be in five years, five months, five minutes? You temporarily experienced concern for your future when you applied for colleges. But there are always safety schools. Life has no safety schools, except maybe the [...]

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Easter Greetings

47

Jim Behrle Valentines

Previously: Win a Jim Behrle Valentine