Posts Tagged: jaya saxena
35

How to Enjoy Art as a Human Being

Start consuming art. Consume everything you can. It doesn’t matter if it’s good or bad, that’s all subjective anyway. Visit museums. Look at every painting, every artifact. Don’t go anywhere without new music on your iPhone or in your car. Get a Netflix subscription. Buy the Criterion Collection. Go to the ballet and cry.

Start to have opinions. Tell everyone you’re preferring J. Cole’s new work and that Yeezus left you wanting. Discover that there is actually "lesser work" of the Beatles, and that you like it more than the White Album. Don’t be ashamed of liking Salvador Dali, even though lots of people seem to think that’s pedestrian. Get [...]

25

Lemon Cookies With Bubblegum Vodka Glaze

Have you ever had a realization, usually sparked by something small, that nearly reduces you to tears over how incredible humans are? That the existence of some bizarre thing we've created proves how silly and creative and purely beautiful we are? This happens to me a lot. I watch a YouTube video of a man playing clarinet while covered in bees, or listen to a song about thrift shopping, or look at the photo my dad texted me of his garden gnome, and I cry because humans are so weird. All of us. We are entirely united in our weirdness.

This recently happened to me while thinking about Bubblegum Vodka. 

118

What Happens When You Serve as an Alternate Juror

1. You finally come to terms with the fact that you're not a good liar. You were an okay enough liar to get off the three-week-long medical malpractice suit, but you can’t figure out a good excuse to get off a civil case involving a 12-year-old being hit by a car (he’s fine, everyone) while crossing in the middle of the street.

2. You start having a week of bad luck. It begins when jury selection takes two days to complete, and continues when you are chosen last as an alternate, have to make an emergency call to a doctor to get your birth control refilled, and lose your [...]

59

Qrafting With Qream

So, you bought some Qream. And then you baked a bunch of stuff with it and made all your friends drink it and now you don't really have friends anymore. Instead, you have this overtly yonic, Louis Vuitton-esque bottle gathering dust on your dresser. You want to hate this bottle. You know you should, because the contents were gross and you should just recycle it and move on with a life of sampling the finer liqueurs out there. But then again, it's sorta pretty, right? It's not just like any other bottle. Maybe it would be a shame to throw it away. Maybe it's time to buy some enamel paint.

Okay, [...]

84

Qreamed Quorn

There’s a blissful moment that I hope you all get the chance to experience. The bliss, that is, and not what leads up to it. It’s a moment when you’ve just dragged your trash out into the hallway, and your kitchen smells like hot Berry Kix, and your stomach is starting to settle again, when you see that bottle of Qream on your counter and think “I’m done.” That your work, whatever its legacy or reception will be, is finished.

But first, to the beginning.

“Anyway GOOD MORNING!” ended the email I got from Edith at 7 a.m. on a recent Monday, in which she alerted me to the existence [...]

43

The ChocoVine Chocolate Red Wine Cake

There are a few warnings on ChocoVine's label:

1. Consume with in six months of opening.

2. Store in a cool, dark place.

3. Do not mix with acidic drinks!

4. Grape wine with artificial flavors, cream, and artificial colors.

That last one is most definitely a warning.

93

Jaya Saxena, What's in Your Bag?

Jaya, when you finish that Qream Qasserole, please show us.

65

Kahlúa Gingerbread … Gingerbread

I know. It's obvious. But it's holiday time, and I wanted to decorate some cookies. And I have to say, if you decide to get one egregiously holiday-themed product this year, this is not a bad one to choose (especially compared to Pringles Peppermint or whatever). Straight, it tastes a bit like sweet coffee made with ashes, but mix in some hot milk and by golly you got a nog goin'!

Plus, of all the ridiculous liquors I've gotten, this one seems to make the most sense, baking-wise. Why bother with nutmeg and cinnamon and actual ginger when you can just use a dollop of Kahlúa Gingerbread? Cut your prep [...]

76

Alizé Gold Passion Pineapple Upside Down Cake

There may come a time in your life when you have a bottle of the weirdest alcohol you can possibly imagine. Perhaps someone brought some Green Apple Vodka to your house dorm room, and it has somehow made it to the cabinets in the apartment you live in as a 26-year-old. Maybe you got some 99 Bananas to make one very specific shot at a very specific party and now the bottle is gathering dust. You may have even been totally qurious about Qream and what it can do for you. We’ve all been there.

I’m not going to even pretend to know what’s going on with liquor flavors [...]

55

Short Rib Truffle Casserole

As we settle into the long, cold, dark days that come with the final slog through winter, we — your pals from The Hairpin and The Awl — will be bringing you some of our favorite casserole recipes (and crockery recommendations).

I am fascinated with Minnesota. I think it began in the summer when I was about six. My family would rent a house in Cape May, NJ, and all pile in and spend a week or two on the beach. This included my aunt, who has long lived outside Minneapolis with her husband, a native Minnesotan. Soon they began to bring a group of [...]