Because if cicadas are "the shrimp of the land," maybe…
Scorpions: Sundried lobsterettes Tarantulas: Silk crabs Crickets: Grass cracklins Ants: Hill seeds Worms: Earth-angel hair pasta Centipedes: Fringed hot dogs Termites: Savory sprinkles Bee larva: Shadow omelettes Pupa: Underground veal Cockroaches: Sunless chicken Fly: Pre-plucked micro quail
Aaand I have made myself sick.
Elsewhere: Radiolab's Cicada Tracker.
"Bed bugs do not transmit disease or cause illness — but the insecticides used to kill them do… Most cases of poisoning were not severe, but the data included one death." —Bed bugs: Can't live with them, can't live without them. Literally.
Maybe she wants you to take her to the zoo on Valentine's Day and point to one special hissing cockroach, out of many thousands of roaches, and tell her, "See that roach? The ugliest one? Her name is Jennifer too, just like you!"
For $10, you can name one of the Bronx Zoo's roaches. The donation goes the Wildlife Conservation Society.
Naming a roach in honor of someone near and dear to your heart shows that you've noticed how resilient, resourceful, and loyal that person is
Or how loyal she was, before you did this horrible thing to her and ruined the most romantic day of the year.