Posts Tagged: humans
1

How Should A Person Be?

Not like this. Happy belated solstice, everyone.

Elsewhere in this photo roundup at the Atlantic is a nice shot of "SweePee Rambo," the newly crowned Ugliest Dog in the World, and a true inspiration in terms of making the most of what you've got.

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Seven Million Years in Seventy Seconds

A nice companion piece to how a fetus gets its face. What's next? Wait, no, don't want to know.

[By Dan Petrovic, via Kottke]

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The Relative-Enjoyability Scale of Strangers

+ 100 The bus driver who was utterly unperturbed when one of the front tires exploded immediately after we stepped onto the bus. (It's unclear if the combined six pieces of cake we consumed that night were the last straw.) “Well this bus ain't goin' nowhere,” he said .

+ 81 The guy next to Julie on the train who jostled her and yelled “BOO” to scare away her hiccups. When it worked, he giggled with delight and wished us a “happy, hiccup-free afternoon.”

+ 77 The deodorant zealot who gave us a totally unsolicited review of her favorite natural deodorant in an aisle at Whole Foods, which kept [...]

6

Find Your Spirit Animal

This young lady tells us incredibly, incredibly slowly how to find our spirit animal. She speaks as if reciting a poem with very short lines, and she recommends that, once down in the world of the animals, you approach every animal until one of them says, "Yes, I am your spirit animal." This could take years! Too bad. Respect the animals.

Here are some excerpts, and I've remained true to the line breaks that our teacher implies with her voice:

5

The Madewell Museum of Human Curiosities, Year 2143

Welcome to the Madewell Museum of Human Curiosities. I am your tour guide, Jornts. If you are descendant from human, please step through this scanner to cleanse your sub-level hybrid body of its hazardous germs. If you are an alien, here is a complimentary Leopold Scone, made from the blood of a Leopold serpent and the essence of DW-40. Slurp it up with your fifty tongues. We won’t watch.

Today on our tour we will be looking at selections from the Madewell store, a pre-Alien Revolution establishment that sold clothing to young human women, and whose name appears as the 428th lie in the book of Lies Humans Told, as [...]

16

More Like "Waddled"

"Easter Island’s gargantuan stone statues walked. That is the controversial claim from archaeologists who have demonstrated the feat with a 4.4-tonne model of one of the baffling busts."

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What Are We Gonna Do About Acne?

What do humans and Mexican hairless dogs have in common, besides the fact that we both need to wear sweaters in the winter? We're some of the only species on the planet that suffer from acne. What luck! Slate has an interesting account of how we ended up suffering this unique fate, and it seems our problems date back to the time when our ape-like ancestors began to have less fur.

"[T]he evolution of our sebaceous glands, which were accustomed to dealing with hair-covered flesh, lagged behind this change in our appearance. As a consequence, all that oily and waxy sebum, normally committed to lubricating fur, hadn't much [...]

13

House of Cards in One Day; or, A Tale of Bravery

The fantasy of binge viewing is the fantasy of the cocoon. It is an intoxicating promise, sinking into a world where nothing matters except a story. In pursuit of this feeling, some friends and I made a deal to take Tuesday, February 19 off (n.b. none of us have real jobs) to watch season two of House of Cards in its entirety.

We were a foursome: Miranda, a couple named Sam and Daisy, and me. Miranda is a writer. Sam works on campaigns. Daisy does something with windmills that looks utterly terrifying. There was talk of a guy I didn’t know named James coming as well, but he didn’t [...]

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Late Bloomers

Anna Mary Robertson Moses—better known as Grandma Moses—did not begin to paint until she was 75… Harlan David Sanders — better known as Colonel Sanders — didn’t start his Kentucky Fried Chicken company until the age of 65 — but went on to become one of the most successful businessmen of his generation. The Swedish shooter Oscar Swahn competed in his first Olympic games in 1908, when he was sixty years old. He won two gold and one bronze medals — and when he turned 72, became not only the oldest Olympian ever, but the oldest medalist in history…

Read this adapted excerpt from Maria Konnikova's forthcoming [...]

2

Instantly Feel Bad About Being on the Computer Right Now

BBC's latest nature-documentary — following the excellent Blue Planet and Planet Earth — will be called Human Planet, and will cast its eyes on us. Not us-us, but like people who walk around and exert themselves. It looks amazing, clearly, although the people standing near the waterfall really need to take a step backward. (Toward safety, not death.) [Via]