Posts Tagged: hospitals
25

Erica Gets An IV

129

The Best Time I Got Hit by a Car

Let me be clear: I am in no way endorsing getting hit by a car.

In 2002 I was living in Washington, DC. I had just graduated college and bought a moped. Not a Vespa or a motorcycle or anything else cute, but a crappy moped. Those kind of bicycles on steroids that delivery men ride and that shake when they go above 20 miles an hour. I got it because I was too broke to buy a car, and also because riding it made me feel romantic and European as I buzzed along to and from work each day in my drab office clothes. It also was a really [...]

1

Adult Women Playing With Dolls

These devoted women only like to play with their big doll Noelle in one way:

She’s gone through a Cesarean section. She’s had seizures. Her baby has been breech and has had to go through intrauterine resuscitation. On Monday morning, Noelle suffered a hemorrhage. Later that same day, her baby’s shoulders got stuck during delivery, an emergency situation for both mother and child.

Poor Noelle. Someone braid her hair! ("Linda! What are you doing?! Noelle's hemorrhaging!" "But her … hair was … and I …" [Linda looks down, ashamed.])

129

Vignettes From a Hospital Overnight

I stand up and pace around the hospital lobby again. We — my husband, my nine-year-old daughter, and I — arrived here at 11 for my surgery at 1. My implanted pacemaker device is malfunctioning and needs to be replaced, three years before its originally anticipated due date. The Information Desk lady tells me my procedure is actually scheduled for 2:45, and I won’t be called to the operating room floor until 1:30. She smiles and hands me one of those coaster things with red lights that buzz when your table is ready at a chain restaurant. Great, I think, having heart surgery is now just like going to Applebee’s [...]

31

The Best Time I Took My Ex to the Hospital for a Rectal Exam

This particular ex and I had what anyone would refer to as a tumultuous relationship. One time he described us as Sid and Nancy, which really is not something a couple should ever go for. We both drank, and we both drank a lot more during the time we were actually dating, during which he was partly living with me, partly leaving his suitcase on my floor and rampaging about town, passing out in other apartments, getting kicked out of cabs and losing his phone, wallet, laptop, brain cells. I was the “responsible” one in the relationship, which meant, generally but not always, that I got slightly less drunk [...]

165

Saying the "D" Word

When I see patients who I think are at risk of dying, I say to the family and patient, “You could die during this hospital admission. Is that something you’ve been thinking about?” Then you can go forward and ask, “What have you been thinking, and what are your expectations?” When you plant the seed that death may be the outcome, people have more acceptance.

Dr. Stephen Workman is calling for his brethren to man up and use more honest language with patients who are dying. Phrases like "critically ill" or "failing to respond to treatment" are on his chopping block along with other mushy non-diagnoses. Seconded? In [...]

6

Martha Stewart Blogs a Trip to the ER

Oh my goodness, Martha. Katie Baker alerted us to this brilliant 34-image narrated slideshow of Martha Stewart's recent visit to an ER for a split lip, published today on Martha's blog. It was best to rest quietly while waiting for Dr. Nolan to arrive from his home in nearby Pound Ridge. The time was 8:59PM.