Posts Tagged: having it all

Having It Blergh

The popular thinking is that the term went from empowering to delusional, running up against the hard truths of reality to get worn down to the spurious fantasy underneath. Feminists, according to this narrative, were the ones who promised women they could have it all—rewarding career, loving partner, cheerful brood—and then couldn’t deliver…Hence the sad fate of the Career Bogeywoman, her soul sucked dry by her high-powered job, her children barely nourished by the dregs of maternal instinct that managed to survive her outsize ambition.

Lol, "having it all."


It Has Been Made Clear to Me That I Cannot Have It All

This morning I woke up at 6:30 and the baby was still asleep. He usually wakes up at six and we all sit in bed talking to him for like an hour, praying he will go back to sleep soon, but today he is sick. I got in the shower, ate breakfast, got dressed, packed my bag. He was still asleep. I opened my computer to check on the site, tried to start working, but we had no coffee in the house and this was just not going to happen. I laid in bed and just stared at him for awhile, looking at the clock. I paced the apartment, put [...]


The A.R. Ammons Poem That Remains Relevant to Every Situation

If you are of two minds on anything in particular today, remember: you're never alone.

One can't have it

both ways and both

ways is the only

way I want it.

A.R. Ammons

This poem is also the epigraph to Maile Meloy's excellent short story collection.


One Big Question: Who Has It All?

This is the first in a series I'm calling One Big Question. Because I'm really nosy, once a month, I'll pose a question to a bunch of our contributors and collect their responses, because I figured a few of you might be really nosy too. Got a question you'd like me to ask? Email me.

Yesterday marked the one month anniversary of Haley and I starting at the Hairpin; for my first month, I had two editorial goals: not to publish anything by a straight white male (in which we succeeded!), and not to write anything about Beyonce. The constant invoking of her name has become the [...]


The Real Fantasy of Downton Abbey

Warning: light spoilers.

Bitching about Downton Abbey has become a new cultural pastime: It’s horrible, it’s melodramatic, Julian Fellowes is a hack, if they kill one more person I’m quitting for good…..

….and yet we don’t. It’s like the Valentine’s Day candy corn I’ve been devouring for the past week: so cute, so sweet, so makes me want to barf. But I can’t resist! Here I am, even paying for episodes so that I can watch at the gym, even though they’re available on public television. Usually, we watch a show once it’s gone bad for one of three overarching reasons:

1) Emotional investment in the storyline;


2) [...]


The New SAHM

When Kelly Makino was a little girl, she loved to go orienteering — to explore the wilderness near her rural Pennsylvania home, finding her way back with a compass and a map — and the future she imagined for herself was equally adventuresome. Until she was about 16, she wanted to be a CIA operative, a spy, she says, "like La Femme Nikita." She put herself through college at Georgia State working in bars and slinging burgers, planning that with her degree in social work, she would—

But guess what? Hm, hard to say.

The latest New York magazine cover story, if you're interested, is "The Retro Wife."


Q&A with Amy Shearn: A Grandmother's Trashed Novella Comes Back To Life

Amy Shearn’s grandmother, Frances “Peggy” Schutze, was always writing: She worked for awhile as a gossip columnist in Kansas, she wrote radio plays, and she hand-made dozens of picture books for her children and grandchildren. “Everyone who knew her understood that she had missed her true calling,” Amy writes of her grandmother. “She was meant to be a writer.” Although Peggy submitted many short stories to women’s magazines, her fiction was never published in her lifetime. She died in 2002.

At some point in her life — no one is sure when — Peggy wrote a funny, energetic novella set in a St. Louis New Deal public housing project in [...]


Business School vs. Cake, or Business School and Cake?

Over the weekend, Jodi Kantor of the New York Times wrote about Harvard Business School's years-long "gender makeover" project, which sought to "remake gender relations at the business school." The overhaul was, in many ways, a success—the George F. Baker Scholar Luncheon, held to honor the top five percent in each graduating class, for example, included 40 percent women in 2013:

It was a remarkable rise that no one could precisely explain. Had the professors rid themselves of unconscious biases? Were the women performing better because of the improved environment? Or was the faculty easing up in grading women because they knew the desired outcome?

“To my head, all [...]


All vs. Enough

"While our friends worry about the quality of middle schools, our parental duties include bringing our son to the ER to get stitches after he puts his head through a window, then arranging for a window replacement and for a special treatment for all the glass in our house so it won't shatter — at a pretty penny. Other friends declare, 'I couldn't do what you do.' If I am to conform to their expectations, I'm not sure what I am supposed to do: Beat my son? Kill myself? (Sadly, parents with kids like my son have done exactly that.) Maybe it's my Buddhist outlook, but I'm not consumed with [...]