Posts Tagged: hanukkah
64

An Imaginary Conversation With My Potential Child When I Tell Her About Hanukkah

Cast of Characters Me: Late thirties/early forties (what’s the rush?). Daughter: Five years old. Looks like a cross between myself and Michael Fassbender, or possibly like myself and one of my guy friends (???!!!).

Scene Early 2020s. My daughter and I are sitting in our Space Colony or apartment — who knows what the future will bring.

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Me:  So then there was a temple that was destroyed. And it needed to be cleaned up, which people could do only by the light of a menorah. I’m not sure why they didn’t just open a window to get natural sunlight? Anyway, there was supposed [...]

96

Ask a Clean Person: Holiday Disasters

I have menorah issues every single year. What is the best way to clean candle wax off everything? I put a sheet of wax paper under the menorah but even then I still have to clean wax out of the menorah itself and it takes forever, especially since it's an eight-day long holiday.

If you promise to invite me over for latkes (never met a latke I didn’t love) I’ll tell you this secret, but shhhh… don’t tell anyone else (unless they’re also going to invite me over for latkes): spray the menorah with a light coating of cooking spray (you know, like PAM?) right before you begin festivaling [...]