It is a given that 40-year-old actress Gwyneth Paltrow—mother of Apple and Moses, wife of Chris Martin, son of Blythe and Bruce—is annoying. That said, reading “Gwyneth Paltrow’s Most Obnoxious Food Quotes” in The Savory this week, all I could think was how much she just sounded exactly like a lot of people I know.
I wondered: do we all hate Gwyneth because she’s really that horrible, or do we all hate Gwyneth because we are all really that horrible?
Let’s listen to Gwyneth for a few minutes, and, in doing so, listen to ourselves.
“We have great dinner parties at which everyone sits around talking about politics, [...]
"[Gwyneth] pointed at my tummy and said, 'What's going on here? I love you. Get it together.'" —When Gwyneth Paltrow loves you, she's not afraid to tell you you're fat. (Then poof! Your Fairy Goopmother snaps her fingers, and you magically lose 40 pounds and turn into the new spokesperson for Jenny Craig.)
Gwyneth Paltrow's complex PR campaign for Country Strong and gobbledy-GOOP and her cookbook and whatever else kind of took a turn—a diagonal back-pedal on a tricycle, if you will—into "Money can't buy you happiness" territory recently: she's putting herself down, insulting her unreliable coffee machine, admitting she "often fails" as a parent, and now telling us that her marriage to Chris Martin is "hard." Or that marriage in general is hard, which isn't to say hers is. But, she allows, in an interview in the latest Good Housekeeping, "Chris and I have had our ups and downs, big time."