In a perfect GIF, after the jump. (Suggested soundtrack.)
1. Sigmund Freud
The father of psychoanalysis, Freud has fans and detractors of the “a cigar is just a cigar” variety. It’s thanks to him that we all glibly refer to our Ids, Egos, and Super-Egos. (Sadly, we have not yet developed the Super-Eggo, a kind of waffle I have often imagined that would be the size of a whole pizza. Thanks for nothing, Freud.)
Get This Look:
GTL: Freud by lookalike-looks featuring a lace lingerie Lord & Taylor button down top / Hanky Panky lace lingerie / MR. HARE Freud shoes, [...]
The first ever American-style football game was based on Rugby, and played by folks over at Princeton and Rutgers, because only nerds are into football or sports at all. Hilariously, during this particular game, the rules were such that no one could pick up the ball and carry it. Instead they flung their whole bodies at the ball, making early football not dissimilar from twerking frantically and violently in mid-air. The first person to play a professional game of football was a dude known as Pudge, which I think pretty much tells you everything you need to know. In football, there is offense and defense and skinny [...]
1. Log Lady
Poor psychic Margaret. She lost her husband to the devil the night of their wedding, as is perhaps the norm in the town of Twin Peaks. When detective Dale Cooper arrives to assist in solving the murder of area teen Laura Palmer, he's guided by his dreams, which are more like visions, and Margaret, or Log Lady, as she's known about town, helps by handing him grim bon mots courtesy of, she says, her log, which can be found cradled in her arm like a big, jointless baby. Additionally, she has a thing about chewed up wads of gum. But who doesn’t, really?
Get This Look:
Despite their varied uses and singularly acidic flavor, lemons weren’t widely enjoyed as a fruit for well into their storied past. One of its first recorded uses was as a pelting agent, hurled at a wayward high priest during a festival in the 90s BC. If no high priest was available, anyone who had crossed you would also suffice. When not being used as a weapon, these tough suckers were employed to cure scurvy-riddled sailors with vitamin C. Drink up that sour juice, y’all; rub it all up in your wounds while screaming in a vain attempt to prove yourself a titan. Lemons ain’t got time for [...]
A spoon is a tool utilizing for dining. It is mainly an aid in the ingestion of soups or other “liquidy” foods. Sometimes people will give you a spoon when you order a piece of cake at a bakery. This will be very confusing for you. Spoons have been around since ancient Egypt, when they were made of things like flint or slate. In Tudor England, people traditionally gave spoons as a christening gifts; each spoon had the mark of one of the apostles on it. They were also silver. These days, spoons are usually only given if you are about to eat ice cream, which is [...]
Newspapers record breaking current events with local and global perspectives. They also feature cartoons that make you chuckle although you aren’t sure why, and sometimes editorials written by your dad that you pretend to understand. In addition to serving as daily chronicles for the people, they also tell you what your day is going to be like based on your astrological sign. They've been around since ancient Rome, where news items were things like “Eating Lying Down Still Awesome” and “Another Day, Another Christian Eaten By A Lion,” and, finally, “Bread and Circus: The Big Con Caesar Doesn’t Want You To Know About.” They're typically printed on cheaper paper, and [...]
This lasagna-loving arbiter of sloth, was created by cartoonist Jim Davis in the late 1970s after his previous comic about a bunch of insects was deemed to be “unrelatable.” The personality of Garfield himself was based on Davis’s grandfather, a man he described as “large and cantankerous.” His stance on Mondays remains unconfirmed.
When I was a kid, I owned both a Garfield t-shirt and hat. There’s a photo of me reading a Garfield comic while wearing both articles of clothing. I regret nothing. Garfield continues to run in the funnies today, with some changes to its original stories. A character named Lyman, for example, is the [...]
Adventure Time is a Cartoon Network series that is quite popular on the Internet.
1.) Lumpy Space Princess
Lumpy Space Princess is, as her name would indicate, the princess of Lumpy Space. Though an unconventional beauty, shaped like a giant purple cloud, with a deep vaguely masculine voice, LSP—as she is known to her friends —is a bastion of confidence. Some might even go so far as to say she is overly confident when it comes to her looks, her personality, and her bravery. She’ll cut a bitch if she has to (or so she claims), but her interior, like her exterior, is truly soft and mushy. LSP often [...]
1. The Game of Life
So let’s talk about stuff that's more interesting than I'd previously imagined — like the Game of Life. Dude, this thing is old as balls! It was invented in 1860 and originally called “The Checkered Game of Life," presumably while a lute played and wigs were powdered in readiness. In the game, one theoretically passes through all the ages of man, what with being born, going to school, getting married, having kids, et cetera. The modern version is known for its spinning wheel, the tiny cars, and the little people. It’s actually kind of depressing, because it literally only takes 45 minutes to play, is [...]