Posts Tagged: gchat

Answer to "Should I Have Dinner with My Ex-Boyfriend"

This early '90s SNL clip is brought to you by your friend's 3pm gchat:  "Oh, btw, I think I'm having dinner with [worst ex-boyfriend ever] tonight. What do you think?"

[via Yahoo]


Asking for a Raise: A Series of Conversations

This series is brought to you by TurboTax Federal Free Edition.

November 9th, Gchat

Me: So I just met with BOSS and he's giving me a lot more things to do because DUDE left. I'm doing three people's jobs now. I should negotiate a raise, right?

PROJECT MANAGER: yes, I think you should try. tell him that the situation was different when you accepted your position and at this point you're absorbing two jobs. you def have to make your case….tell him you've made plenty of sacrifices (shortening your vacation after DUDE left) and that you're ready to step up but that you have to be compensated.


Bad Sex, Paying for the First Date, and Asking Out Your Barista

Is bad sex ever a reason to break up? Not even bad sex but lack of chemistry? I have a been with a guy for six months (known for a year) and while everything else is awesome and wonderful and he makes me laugh and loves me… the sex is, for a lack of better term, awful. I don't feel chemistry in that way with him and everything I have tried to spice it up doesn't work. How can it be possible that everything works but this one area? It it selfish of me to want good sex AND a great relationship? I am afraid that I would be [...]


Three Years of Gchats Trying to Convince My Best Friend to Like Drake

JUNE 6, 2010

me: well considering the fact that i only listened to drake yesterday, i’d say that’s a bad idea

Olivia: hahahah

Olivia: nah


JUNE 9, 2010

me: i feel you girl

yo so drake has a song on his new album called fancy

and it’s all about how he only likes girls that are smart as well as beautiful

my heart is aflutter

Olivia: jesus

sometimes your crushes elude me


JUNE 10, 2010


i want you to like it

just like it

Olivia: hahah oh man ok


German Words for Gchat-related Psychoemotional States

Speaking of Gchat

Verkendokumentaugenstich: The momentary pinch of inadequacy and remorse felt when you glance away from a chat and spot the work you are supposed to be doing, before returning to ask your friend "fix my liiife? fix it?"

Dunksturrfenvlecht: The desire (conscious or unconscious) to leave, and concomitant pleasure derived from leaving, your chat window "available" after you've gone to bed in order to elicit other people's drunk messages and wake up feeling like you have a lot of friends.

Dopplepastenschande. When you make a successful joke in one chat window and paste it in another only to realize you pasted the name of the first person you were talking to along with your [...]


Talking to Women, Gchat Crises, and Pre-Adolescent Encounters

What is the "right"/"best"/"most appropriate" way for a strange man (me) to approach a strange woman (not that we are odd, but that we are strangers to each other)? I am painfully shy, and even though I know I should just say "hi," I can't bring myself to do it. I have the yips. I get nervous, and then I do nothing, and then I regret my wallflower-ness the rest of the day. Even when a strange woman smiles nicely (politely?) at me (is she sending a sign, like, "hey, if you won't do it willingly, come talk to me you silly fool"?), I often can't return the favor. [...]


Boyfriends' Mothers, "Compassion," and Les Misérables

1. My husband and I are religious, so that meant no messing around — at all — before we got married, which … obviously has pros and many cons, but after a year and a half I think we have the basics down. BUT. I just cannot get myself to give him a blow job. I can't do it! It seems so gross to me. I feel bad because he's gone down on me lots of times, and I've never returned the favor. We've talked about it and he's really nice about it; he says he would like to try it out, but he doesn't want me to do anything [...]


The Arrival of Gchat

Listening and talking became even easier in the 1680s, with the introduction of the sofa. Seating for two! For the first time in history, people could sit comfortably together indoors for long stretches — thereby making it easier for them to speak comfortably together for long stretches.

Here's an interesting essay in N+1 about the evolution of conversation. It starts in the velvet-lined salons of the 17th century, the cradle of banter, and ends with Gchat, which we use all day, every day, to talk with "other people's boyfriends," until someone's circle turns orange.

Is he really gone, or has the sneak downloaded that add-on that [...]


GChat and You

Caroline Bankoff has written a long and charming essay for Thought Catalog about GChat, which for some of us has replaced speech as, if not the preferred than at least the most frequent form of human communication.

4. I started GChatting on March 6th, 2007, and as of this writing, I have 9940 chats in my records. If you have an idea for how I should commemorate my 10,000th chat – I estimate it will take place sometime late next week – you should let me know.

Interesting! I'm 11,069 from June of '06. You? What does it mean? Nothing? Literally nothing? Bankoff was also brave enough to search [...]