Posts Tagged: gays

Bi Identification, Moving Out, and the Rhinestone-Encrusted Manicure

1. I am a lady who has identified as bi since she was sixteen, in an 'I like people based purely on music taste and tattoos' kind of way. I lived in a conservative town so I didn't act on liking ladies seriously until uni, when I had some short-term relationships with unsuitable women. I ended up dating a man who got very turned on by the idea or inviting a woman into bed with us. He was really into BDSM, and we had a master/slave aspect to everything we did. He wanted it to be like that 24/7, but it was just the entirety of our private life. Eventually [...]


Becoming Bisexual, Part Two: No Longer Just for Ladies!

1. Crush exclusively on boys until you see t.A.T.u.'s “All The Things She Said” video at age 10.

2. Realize that girls can like girls, too.

3. Realize quickly that a lot of people in Arkansas circa 2002 think homosexuality is unacceptable.

4. Quash any non-platonic feelings for girls.

5. Date no one until high school; then, date only boys.

6. Crush on a femme bisexual girl in ninth grade.

7. Crush on her girlfriend, who wears clothes traditionally worn by teenage boys and has the cutest freckles.

8. Tell your mom that said femme bisexual girl is bisexual. Your mother says it's disgusting and unnatural and even [...]


Racist Girlfriends, Plush Closets, and Sufficient Queerness

I took a decade-plus long break from dating/relationships etc. to figure me out, and all that junk. After finally reconciling all my spiritual/sexual/familial-type issues, I feel confident in who I am and am ready to date. So, I started seeing this one chick who was pretty awesome. We get along really well and I really like her. We've been seeing each other for a few months, but she's not comfortable putting any kind of label on our "relationship" and she frequently refers to it as "hanging out" (for the record, when I "hang out" with my friends, I DO NOT do the things that I do with her). But [...]


Future In-Laws, Appealing Coworkers, and Lesbians With Interests (?!)

Ima try to keep this snappy. I'm queer. I'm in an open marriage. I live in Utah. I'm only a year into this, so I have wobbly newborn queer legs and I suck at coming out, especially when it comes to the open relationship bit.

SO, there's this girl I work with … we drunkenly confessed crushes on each other one night … my confession in all seriousness and hers potentially in a I'm-totally-straight-but-I-like-your-hair kind of way. I don't know. I would really like to bring it up again and find out more. Is it worth it to possibly ruin a nice work relationship with her and jeopardize my [...]


Nicola Explains It All

"I was wondering if you would be willing to recommend good lesbian science fiction novels. I find those are hard to come by." [via]


Rejection, Bigotry, and Vanilla With Sprinkles

1. I know this is going to sound pathetic and ridiculous, but that's exactly why I can't talk to my friends about it, so I was hoping you could help somehow. I was having a sort of long-distancey thing with this girl — we saw each other only a couple of times in person, but through calls, emails, and text we developed a pretty intense emotional connection and spent a lot of time talking about how hot we were for each other and describing in graphic detail the things we'd like to do to each other if we only had a chance. Then when we finally did meet up [...]


Filed Nails, When to Move, and the Coded Mixtape

So, Queer Chick, I come to you as a supplicant. I'm a trans guy who's looking to start dating following a cross-country move to begin grad school. This is all good, except for a few complicating factors. A) I'm pretty much 100% out by choice. Googling my name outs me as trans within the first page. I’d like to think anyone I’m involved with would be down with that, but I recognize this could scare off possible partners. B) Ever since I came out five-ish years ago, I've basically been 100% inactive on the dating front for various reasons. That puts me in my mid-twenties with almost no adult [...]


Honesty, Asexuality, and the Un-Recloseting

1. I can't talk to my friends about this, because they all think my girlfriend and I have the perfect relationship. We met through Craigslist casual encounters, and started out as fuck buddies. Which was fun! No shame there. Gradually, we fell head over heels in love with each other. She was talking marriage by the fourth month we were together, all that kind of stuff. She was an AMAZING girlfriend who went over and above (weekly cookie care packages! lovely love texts nightly! sweetest letters ever!). I was a pretty good one, given the fact that I'm a sporadically employed undergraduate student who can't afford things like surprise [...]


How to Become a Bisexual/Queer-Identified/Questioning Person in Several Easy Steps

(Four women’s experiences.)

1. Crush on your boyfriend’s female roommate. Spend way more time in your strained relationship than you should.

2. Date your first girlfriend, in college.


4. Have a terrifying existential crisis about “what you are." Come out to your parents, who are more confused than you are.

5. Graduate, still date men and women. Feel excited about not being a LUG, then feel ashamed of yourself.

6. Debate whether it’s worth coming out to your extended family. Wonder whether you’ll be allowed to bring your girlfriend to your brother’s wedding.


Second Favorites, Gold Stars, and Sex Not Had

1. I’m in a long-term, and very serious, relationship with the nicest, best guy in the world. I am a very sexual, and very queer, chick. I am totally in love with this dude; we talk about babies, our dreams, a house — the total hetero package. I do, however (and very sadly!) really … REALLY … miss sex with women. I knew I was bi/queer from a very young age, and made out with some girls and dated a lady semi-long-term, but don’t have a lot of experience (not that I have an insane amount with men either). When I met this guy about two years ago, I [...]