Last week, out of nowhere, my period arrived at my apartment and insisted we go shopping. It showed up just as I was settling in for a hard day of studying, or pretending to study but actually Googling “recent UFO sightings – real.”
“LET’S GO SHOPIIINNNGGG!!!” my period screamed.
I grumbled but ultimately agreed, because I've come to accept that what my period wants, my period gets. (Except for making out with pirate Johnny Depp, rolling around in the sand with pirate Johnny Depp, and discovering buried treasure with pirate Johnny Depp — to pay for grad school!)
Together we headed to the mall. My period tried to steer me [...]
I lived in Los Angeles for four years and almost everyone I knew during that time has since acquired a DUI. This is because LA's top two priorities are being seen at as many Hollywood parties as possible, and being seen getting out of a whip that costs more than the house you grew up in when you get there. Safety third, I guess.
Somehow I escaped unscathed, but from what I hear, DUIs are a gigantic pain in the ass and cost way more than you could ever imagine. Plus, you can kill someone/yourself. Fortunately, I’ve put together a list of things that are WAY MORE FUN to [...]
More news in cell-phonery: Teenagers who text more than 120 times a day somehow also find the time to have more sex, drink more booze, do more drugs, and get in more fights than their untexting, untexted peers. Aw. Perhaps a Big Brother/Big Sister pen-pal-type thing is needed.