"A newly-wed couple were stranded on a remote island three miles from the mainland when a giant bull seal climbed into their inflatable dinghy and refused to budge for four days." [Telegraph]
Sometimes there's a fantasy that everyone agrees would be awesome — like you're at a bar when [insert name of your favorite hot celebrity] walks in and falls in love with you and you live happily ever after. And we all pretty much know that even though it sounds crazy, it will happen to us sooner or later. So we go through life never dealing with reality because someday our metaphorical prince will come and everything will be grand. But then sometimes he doesn't come, and we end up poor and alone.
An Italian man was allowed to get his marriage annulled because his wife had talked about maybe possibly cheating on him or having an open marriage, but had never acted on any of her ideas. The country's highest appeals court agreed with a lower court that, yes, daydreaming is grounds for annulment, so watch the fuck out if you live in Italy and possibly other places.
1. Record both new and first-run episodes.
2. Record all episodes until DVR is 100% full.
3. Record only if any missing children are returned to their families before DICK WOLF CHUNG CHUNG.
4. Record only if not part of a dull four-episode crossover domestic terrorism arc.
5. Record only if filmed prior to Detective Elliot Stabler's sudden off-screen departure from the series at the beginning of Season Thirteen.
6. Record only if Detective Elliot Stabler holds a victim against his chest in a gesture of warm, paternal sympathy.
7. Record only if Detective Elliot Stabler is wearing a white sleeveless t-shirt that shows one or more [...]
Admit it: at some point in your life, deep down, you’ve wanted to be a mermaid. Sitting on a rock, lustrous hair flowing down, pearls and shells scattered about, sailors and pirates crashing their ships around you. You’ve watched Splash and The Little Mermaid, you’ve totally wanted to lie in that saltwater bath and stretch out a bright orange tail, or swim around shipwrecks with weird little fish as your friends. Maybe somewhere deep down you think you are a mermaid, or at least would make a kickass one if given the chance.
Now, because I am very generous, and also an expert, I will list five ways [...]
1. Myself, but I can read minds. And not in that "oh, it's not as great as it sounds, it's really overwhelming and psychologically unsettling" way. I can turn it off any time I want, and it's awesome.
2. Myself, but I direct and write Mad Men. I funded the pilot myself, play Peggy, and maintain complete creative control. Also Deadwood. Which is back on the air. And I am Alma Garret.
3. Myself, but I directed and wrote Casino Royale. Daniel Craig raves about me in interviews, and we were on the cover of Vanity Fair with me digging a stiletto into his chest while he stared at me [...]
UCLA conducted an interesting sex survey among college kids — the stupidest, saddest people alive — that LA Weekly has helpfully presented in 14 points, the last of which appears above. (How is "oral sex with Barney" (!!!) the same as "teachers" and "Harry Potter"? Also, who is Matt from Digimon?? So many questions.)