Posts Tagged: facebook
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Thank God For Facebook Disaster Check, I Think

Facebook is where I learned about this weekend's devastating earthquake in Nepal. I learned about it because it alerted me that two of my family members in the area were safe and sound, a feature that has apparently been around since last year. My family is from Lucknow, a city in Uttar Pradesh about 130 miles from the Nepal border, which I have now learned is in the "moderate risk zone" but still, you know, looks pretty damn close.

I had a quick flood of emotions when I saw the notification. What earthquake? Where? Oh thank god they're safe. Wait, what would have happened if they weren't [...]

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How Long Did It Take You To Accept Your Mom's Friend Request?

If the answer is less than 371 days, you're doing better than average. Another tidbit from Dana Liebelson's Facebook research rundown at Mother Jones:

Facebook also noted that "what parents say when they're not talking to their children is just as revealing; they use higher levels of ideology (agree but, obama, our government, policies, people need to, ethics), swearing and slang (ctfu, lmao, fucker, idk), and alcohol and sex terms (tequila, glass of wine, that ass, sexy). Ew.

"Tequila, glass of wine, that ass." Our mothers, ourselves. [Mother Jones]

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My Correspondence with Spam Gary Sinise

Dear Spam Gary Sinise,

I am so glad to hear that you are a fan of mine (though I have to admit I find it a little strange). When I checked my Facebook inbox this morning, I didn't expect to see your name there next to Jana Wrewelwski asking "2 pls friend." I haven't thought about you since 2008, which was the last time I idly watched Forrest Gump. I like your work, too! You were particularly strong in that other movie. Saving Private Ryan, I think.

Stay healthy. I hope you don't get a "sinise" infection.

Best, Dayna

———-

Dear Spam Gary Sinise,

I regret to [...]

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Modern-Day Superheroes We Need

Seamless Door-Answering Dinnertime Megazord 

In Metropolis, even the ultra-lazy need saving. And plastic utensils.

 

Train Pole De-sanitizer Man

Saving the innocent from super-bacteria without requiring participation in a breakdancing show.

 

Cronut Duplicator X

Fighting against all insurgents who hath deemed pastries as finite resources.

 

The Mystical All-Powerful Crane

Gigantic robot pick you up at cross-town bar, gigantic robot drop you off at home like stuffed panda in arcade game.  Gigantic robot crave love. For gigantic robot, love ever-fleeting. (Coming to Uber in 2014.)

 

Dr. Deep Facebook Hole Of Shame Blocker

No more babies, no more engagements, no more ex-boyfriend, no more sunshine, ain’t no, ain’t no [...]

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Social Media Patron Saints

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Psychotherapy in the Age of Facebook

Many people are outraged by the ethical implications of the recent revelation that Facebook conducted psychological experiments on unwitting users, manipulating their emotions by skewing their news feeds toward positive or negative posts. But look on the bright side: now that we know how "emotional contagion" works, mental-health professionals are going to have a much easier time at their jobs.

***

Client 1: I don't know why, but lately I've really been feeling down.

Dr. Psychiatrist: Hm. Well, we see a lot of people respond well to filling their Facebook news feeds with positive content.

Client 1: All [...]

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Your Facebook Stalking, Quantified

"How Much Time Have You Wasted on Facebook?" Probably, like, five minutes, tops. Right?

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Facebook Makes Us Sad

It's Monday, so we all probably just spent a decent chunk of our morning "liking" all our college friend's engagement announcements on Facebook. Remember in High Fidelity when John Cusack asked "Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?" Maureen O'Connor discusses the 2014 version of that in "Do You Hate Facebook, or Do You Hate Your Life?" for The Cut. Taking a break from social media especially during heartbreak or stress is now a part of how we live now, but then doesn't everyone have a friend that dramatically deactivates their Facebook only to ask for a friend's login weeks or days [...]

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The "Reality" Filter Pie

Ann Friedman vows to start 'gramming photos of herself hunched over a laptop.

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#DudeCanCook #EpicSmile #RatingMenWithHashtags

A week later, they met again, this time at Mr. Branson’s Necker Island in the Caribbean, and had another night of passion. The next day, Mr. Brockway sat in on another of Ms. Chong’s Lulu lectures, unaware of her plan to demonstrate her app by reviewing him in front of his friends and family members.

“People thought she was teasing,” Mr. Brockway said, flashing his #EpicSmile and rubbing his #ThreeDayStubble during a recent dinner party in SoHo attended by friends including Alexandra Wilkis Wilson, a founder of Gilt Groupe, and Princess Eugenie of York.

Mr. Brockway has since gotten several more reviews (#DudeCanCook), none quite as glowing as the [...]