Facebook is where I learned about this weekend's devastating earthquake in Nepal. I learned about it because it alerted me that two of my family members in the area were safe and sound, a feature that has apparently been around since last year. My family is from Lucknow, a city in Uttar Pradesh about 130 miles from the Nepal border, which I have now learned is in the "moderate risk zone" but still, you know, looks pretty damn close.
I had a quick flood of emotions when I saw the notification. What earthquake? Where? Oh thank god they're safe. Wait, what would have happened if they weren't [...]
If the answer is less than 371 days, you're doing better than average. Another tidbit from Dana Liebelson's Facebook research rundown at Mother Jones:
Facebook also noted that "what parents say when they're not talking to their children is just as revealing; they use higher levels of ideology (agree but, obama, our government, policies, people need to, ethics), swearing and slang (ctfu, lmao, fucker, idk), and alcohol and sex terms (tequila, glass of wine, that ass, sexy). Ew.
"Tequila, glass of wine, that ass." Our mothers, ourselves. [Mother Jones]
Dear Spam Gary Sinise,
I am so glad to hear that you are a fan of mine (though I have to admit I find it a little strange). When I checked my Facebook inbox this morning, I didn't expect to see your name there next to Jana Wrewelwski asking "2 pls friend." I haven't thought about you since 2008, which was the last time I idly watched Forrest Gump. I like your work, too! You were particularly strong in that other movie. Saving Private Ryan, I think.
Stay healthy. I hope you don't get a "sinise" infection.
Dear Spam Gary Sinise,
I regret to [...]
Seamless Door-Answering Dinnertime Megazord
In Metropolis, even the ultra-lazy need saving. And plastic utensils.
Train Pole De-sanitizer Man
Saving the innocent from super-bacteria without requiring participation in a breakdancing show.
Cronut Duplicator X
Fighting against all insurgents who hath deemed pastries as finite resources.
The Mystical All-Powerful Crane
Gigantic robot pick you up at cross-town bar, gigantic robot drop you off at home like stuffed panda in arcade game. Gigantic robot crave love. For gigantic robot, love ever-fleeting. (Coming to Uber in 2014.)
Dr. Deep Facebook Hole Of Shame Blocker
No more babies, no more engagements, no more ex-boyfriend, no more sunshine, ain’t no, ain’t no [...]