I have had the misfortune of having to meet five of my boyfriend's exes. Some of these women are my peers whom I encounter frequently in social settings. Although I recognize everyone has a past, I experience various negative emotions when I am forced to encounter these women. How do I deal with this gracefully?
Do you have apricots in your shoes? Yes or no, Mommy? No apricots? No, you DO have apricots in your shoes! I put them in there yesterday! But don’t worry, it’s okay, Mommy. Take off your shoes, and then you shake-shake-shake. Like this: shake-shake-shake, shake-shake-shake, shake your bod-ette! [...]
This particular ex and I had what anyone would refer to as a tumultuous relationship. One time he described us as Sid and Nancy, which really is not something a couple should ever go for. We both drank, and we both drank a lot more during the time we were actually dating, during which he was partly living with me, partly leaving his suitcase on my floor and rampaging about town, passing out in other apartments, getting kicked out of cabs and losing his phone, wallet, laptop, brain cells. I was the “responsible” one in the relationship, which meant, generally but not always, that I got slightly less drunk [...]