Sometimes there's a fantasy that everyone agrees would be awesome — like you're at a bar when [insert name of your favorite hot celebrity] walks in and falls in love with you and you live happily ever after. And we all pretty much know that even though it sounds crazy, it will happen to us sooner or later. So we go through life never dealing with reality because someday our metaphorical prince will come and everything will be grand. But then sometimes he doesn't come, and we end up poor and alone.
My favorite redhead Tori Amos is writing a musical called, so far, TBA, and it will be shown at London's National Theatre in April of 2012. That's all we know. What will it be about? What will it be called? Can it be, like, an adaptation of a Muriel Spark book, or the St. Trinian's series (which has since been made into a couple of quite fun films with Colin Firth in them, and whose setting is a bit like a choirgirl hotel)? Or a musical-length version of the song "Tear In Your Hand"? In the meantime, here is some Tori Amos in HD on the Internet!
A mother of three from England was so fed up with her children's obsession with technology—specifically, gaming, social networks and the Internet at large—that she ordered the whole family to go on a technology-free diet for six months (the kids were allowed to use gadgets at school and friends' houses). They made it out alive, and the kids, who are all teenagers, actually report that they didn't really mind those long, dark days, in the end. What they did do during the time is pretty impressive and intellectual-sounding, which shows how long I have been nourished solely by the glow of screens.
We are all about diets this week! The wine diet! The prune diet (as part of a balanced wine diet)! The consistently moderately alcohol-using diet (see above)! Now comes the Swiss Roll diet, perpetrated by a woman in England who seriously only ate them for nine months. The woman describes that period as a "strange time," and her wake-up call came when she got stuck in a swing. Now she's fine, back to eating plants and animals and things.
Some MTV executives were sitting around one day going, "Where can we take Jersey Shore next, literally? Where can we put it? Is there another Jersey somewhere in the world?" Yes, actually, there is the namesake of New Jersey, but no, too small, so MTV, like the time it took Alexa Chung away, back to a place where people would get her jokes or whatever they were, is going to be taking the seed of Jersey Shore and planting it in Newcastle, where residents are often referred to as "Geordies." I would actually like to see Geordie Shore, but as Warming Glow points out, we'd need subtitles because [...]
A headless monk and several floating orbs came out against the building of an elevated water ride near their home in Surry, England, recently. They didn't explain why they don't like the ride, but paranormal investigators believe it's because the ride is — or, was — being built over their ancient burial ground. If you ask the headless monk, though, he makes gestures like he wants to say something, but if you give him a pen, it just falls through his hand. He also uses his fingers to act like they're a little man walking across his other palm, but no one knows what he means.
Certain British people love a good fox hunt. Too bad the "sport" was finally outlawed in 2005. But there is a replacement: man hunting, aka the Coakham Hunt. The Hunting Act means that a number of animals, not just foxes, can no longer be hunted in the UK, but men are exempt! The law, writes the Washington Post:
protects some other mammals, such as hare (but not rabbits), mice (but not rats) and mink (but not men).
The Crystal Maze was a British TV game show from a bygone era otherwise known as childhood. It happened once a week in the early evening, and I probably watched it every week from 1990 to 1994. What was The Crystal Maze, though, truly? It was like stepping into another dimension (actually four) separate from homework and dolls and the anxiety surrounding whether I would finally wear a skirt to school, and watching contestants do difficult things like sweep a crystal off a tall platform with a broom.