Posts Tagged: dinner parties

Signs I Want You To Leave My House After I've Hosted You for Dinner

I'm vacuuming.

I haven't smiled since the chive blinis with creme fraiche*.

I haven't refilled your wineglass for the last hour and when you ask me for some water I say, "No."

I've shared with you the main tenets of Chinese Ancient Wisdom for Healthy Sleep, which prescribes one to be asleep by 10 o'clock to maximize the repair of energetic organs.

I excuse myself to take a shower.

When my husband suggests we get out the good whiskey, I slap him upside the head.

After I come out of the shower, I'm in my bathrobe and refuse to look you in the eyes.

When you speak to me, I [...]


The Table That Moves Like a Spider

Finally a table that can walk! It really makes me want to host a dinner party that I could call "A Moveable Feast." (Very original title, no?) It'd work like this: I invite people to an elaborate multi-course dinner that I serve on this table, which I've placed at the start of a very long pier that stretches out over a beautiful lake. After each course, I make everyone stand up, and we move the table a few feet closer to the end of the dock. Then we sit back down and enjoy the next course. Finally, after we've had dessert and after-dinner drinks, we push the table [...]


How to Host a Dinner For "The" Strangers

…as opposed to strangers.

Whyyyy are you doing this? Okay. Uhhhh. Buy a house without windows, make sure there's a really deep concrete foundation, and bolt the door. Buy a gun. Then make a bunch of aspics and undercooked chicken and have your hot boyfriend slowly open the front door while you cover him with the gun. Put the plate on the front step. If anyone approaches it, make sure they are not your good friend coming to save you, then shoot them in the chest. Shoot them again. Cut their head off and put it on a spike to warn the others. Then move to the city.

Oh, [...]


Cheap Dinner Party Trick: Compound Butter

While you cook dinner, leave a stick of butter out on the counter to soften. When you have a minute, smash that butter into a bowl with a fork. Squeeze half a lemon over it, then grate in the zest, too. Finely chop a handful of parsley, with as few stems as possible. Stir together with a sort of plastering motion. Add a little good salt, even if you used salted butter.

You've now made a basic compound butter. Scoop it out neatly onto a saucer, or into an espresso cup, and it is all your dinner guests will talk about. The payoff for making compound butter is exponentially [...]


The Dinner Party Rubik's Cube

Mark Bittman & co. made a series of matrices for hosting a dinner party, with pretty bingo grids for boozestartersmains, and desserts. They're nice!


For Your Weekend Playlist

Would you like to download an excellent and completely free 24-track mixtape of classic soul music? If you do, and you should, here's the Best Soul Friday Mixtape Ever. Dinner-party music. Make-out music. Music for quietly cleaning your home.