Posts Tagged: daughters
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A Letter to My Future Daughter

Hello my sweet baby girl,

You are still several years away from existing, but I am positive will exist someday. Maybe it boils down to my woman’s intuition, or to that psychic I consulted with this morning (for the first and last time, I might add. Maybe I’m old-fashioned, but I think that if a psychic is charging you eleven bucks a pop, she has an obligation to tell you that week’s lottery tickets numbers.)

Regardless. I may not know you yet, even though you are technically apart of me, hanging out in my uterus waiting for the right dick to come along and shove you out (I fell [...]

6

Mad Men: In the Land of the Lost

One of the recurring themes in Mad Men involves lost children, children who have lost their parents, parents who have lost their kids. We see characters who were abandoned, orphaned, or simply didn’t get enough love (Don Draper included) who go on to pathologically treat their own offspring the own way, often without much awareness or self-reflection about doing so. Don was a lost kid who became a lost adult, though he's kept it covered it up with bravado and a good sell over the years, albeit with a few cracks emerging.

This “lost” storyline goes well beyond Don, though. Pete lost his mother, in part because of Bob Benson. [...]

44

Carrie Got a Bad Rap: Beloved Literary Kids with Deadbeat or Absent Dads

My parents divorced when I was just over a year old, right around the time that I was recovering from a serious bout of meningitis that had irrevocably strained their marriage. There’s either a lot to say about my dad’s non-presence in my life and how it simultaneously fucked me up and made me freakishly resilient, or almost nothing. He wasn’t there. My mom was.

In honor of Father’s Day, here are my favorite literary kids with deadbeat and/or absent dads. All of these books are very, very good, and they all feature kids who grew up with their dad either missing entirely, or entirely missing the mark. If you, [...]

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The Agony and the Ecstasy of Having a Mother

When I was five years old, I had multiple obsessions: side ponytails, fuzzy stickers, and Teddy Ruxpin, to name a few. But my greatest obsession by far was my mother. I was head­ over ­heels, rom-­com-style in love with her. I followed her everywhere she went, hid in her skirts, and slept curled in her arms. I was a barnacle and she was my fungusy rock.

I loved her so much that I flat-­out asked her to marry me once. I don’t remember this, but she told me that one night she was reading me a bedtime story and I just blurted, “I’m nuts about you! When I grow [...]

6

A Letter To My Aunties

Aunties,

I heard some of you tried to Google me.

My mother tells me this sitting on the edge of my childhood bed. I’ve been gone from the home I grew up in for five years. I left to start my life. I’m back now to show my gratitude—like a spiritual praxis; there’s a cord that ties me to my family and their needs; I am a healer at my best.

As a kid I didn’t understand why my life had restrictions. Unlike so many of my friends, I had a list of terms and conditions governing my free spirit; a body of rules that determined my [...]

27

A Girl and a Good Wife

I'm leaving Pete's Candy Store in Williamsburg when I spot Girls actor Alex Karpovsky at the bar. I'd been feeling old at a 30 year-old's birthday party, so I knew I hadn't time-traveled into a scene with Lena Dunham: Girls is bereft of fortysomething women. If you want to watch a television show about a grown-ass woman, you need to tune in to The Good Wife.

I watch both. I watch The Good Wife, now in its stellar fifth season, because Julianna Margulies's Alicia Florrick is a model of intelligence at any age. I watch Girls because I am curious about how a young woman is interpreting her early twenties as she lives [...]

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Interview with a One-Time "Betty Crocker Homemaker of Tomorrow"

In 1968, Sandra Jones won her high school’s "Betty Crocker Homemaker of Tomorrow" Award. She did this by proving her literacy in the realm of "childcare, family relationships, money management, household upkeep and morality," but she tells me – her daughter – that she was just good at taking tests.

Though domestically savvy, my mom only applied her homemaking skills in her off hours. She was an architect who traveled all over Alaska working on schools and military facilities and made partner before I was born. So, growing up, it never occurred to me that some people still might think women were less equipped to lead than men. Why [...]

21

Preexisting Conditions

My husband is at the DMV taking both the written and the behind the wheel portions of his driver's test. I am not married to a 16-year-old; rather, this is happening because my husband's been driving our family minivan without a license for the last four years.

We had planned to go hiking and grill out with our two young daughters today. We both work full-time and the two of us rarely have a free day that aligns. But he told me over breakfast that he had to go handle this—previously, we'd both found out at a court date for a previous traffic violation that his driving privileges had actually [...]

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The Male Profession’s Female Relative

The Ambassador’s Daughter

The Apothecary’s Daughter

The Aviator’s Wife

The Baker’s Daughter

The Baker’s Wife

The Bishop’s Daughter

The Bloodletter’s Daughter

The Bonesetter’s Daughter

The Bookseller’s Daughter

The Burgermeister’s Daughter

The Butcher’s Granddaughter

The Calligrapher’s Daughter

The Candidate’s Wife

The Captain’s Daughter

The Centurion’s Wife

The Chief’s Granddaughter

The Coach’s Wife

The Colonel’s Nieces

The Dairyman’s Daughter

The Diplomat’s Wife

The Ditchdigger’s Daughters

The Doctor’s Wife

[...]
64

Life, Love, Lower Learning

The other day my 15-year-old daughter and I were discussing her top choices for colleges, and she breezily mentioned that she didn't want to make the mistake of ending up like her poor uneducated parents.

Wait, what?

This comment thrown out so casually shook me. And, mind you, spoken from our hilltop home with the vast ocean view. Rented, yes, but we do live here, thank you very much.

But let me start at the beginning. I wasn't university material. My teachers told me I'd do great if I just applied myself, but I didn't have the patience or drive to seriously consider college. The vague marketing and business majors [...]