Posts Tagged: dating

How I Found Out I Didn't Have the Herpes I'd Been Living With for Four Years

This story is an update to this story, published here in April 2012.

Six months ago, I sat waiting in my gynecologist’s exam room chair, fully clothed and wishing I were anywhere else. At that particular moment, I’d even have preferred being naked and spread-eagled on the paper-lined bed. It’s not true what they say about the stirrups being the worst part of the ladyparts exam room: it’s the chair. Once you’re clothed and in the chair, it means you’re there to talk.

You never forget your first time debriefing with your gynecologist. Mine was four years ago, at age 22, when I sat crumpled in a chair [...]


"what do you think about twitter flirting. do people do it too much?"

Chiara Atik and I are still talking about dates. (Earlier.)


If You Had to Guess

If you had to guess which one of the guys you slept with wrote sex reviews on prostitute Yelp, which one would you guess?

If you had to guess whether the person you've been hanging out with for a while carves his own sporks and then uses those sporks to the exclusion of all other utensils, what would you guess?

If you had to guess how many guys you will do who totally start picking their nose and eating it after the first time you have sex, how many would you say?

If you had to guess whether you're with someone who used to have those big earrings and then [...]


Interview With a Virgin: Eliot

Eliot is a 31-year-old graduate student working in media studies, and we talked just as she was finishing up an article on lesbian pornographic comics and the nature of female fantasy. 

Jia: Hey Eliot! I'm so intrigued by this article you’re writing. 

Eliot: Hi! Thanks. Yeah, it’s certainly sort of weird to spend all of your time studying people who perform and write acts that you, for the majority of your life, have had zero interest in. But I think that in academia, we always end up focusing on things that compel us in ways that we don’t fully understand. Part of the reason I so frequently use the lens of [...]


How to Behave on Your Online Date: A Bartender’s Perspective

Anyone who's alone at a bar fidgeting, smiling then not smiling, glancing at a phone screen, over and over — and over — is often on the verge of meeting a wonderful stranger. A wonderful stranger who fits some essential criteria on a website. One of the few and true delights I’ve found as a bartender is watching the online date unfold. It’s like watching a rom-com except you actually never know how it’s going to end.

I love it when I hear things like:

Just so you know, I have a terrible headache. I can totally sit here with you, but my focus might be off. It’s NOT that I’m [...]


Every Dating Problem, Solved: An Interview With Chiara Atik

Dating expert, travel enthusiast, HowAboutWe writer (and Hairpin contributor) Chiara Atik has a new book out today: Modern Dating: A Field Guide. We emailed about it.

Edith Zimmerman: Okay Chiara. Just respond with "…." if I ask you a question you probably get asked all the time, and I'll picture you staring blankly at me with your BIG AND BEAUTIFUL eyes. Question one: Would you describe your eyes as big and beautiful?

Oh, I’m constantly describing my eyes as big and beautiful to anyone who will listen.

Question two: Isn't it crazy to write about dating, don't your dates get weirded out when they find out what you [...]


Honesty, Asexuality, and the Un-Recloseting

1. I can't talk to my friends about this, because they all think my girlfriend and I have the perfect relationship. We met through Craigslist casual encounters, and started out as fuck buddies. Which was fun! No shame there. Gradually, we fell head over heels in love with each other. She was talking marriage by the fourth month we were together, all that kind of stuff. She was an AMAZING girlfriend who went over and above (weekly cookie care packages! lovely love texts nightly! sweetest letters ever!). I was a pretty good one, given the fact that I'm a sporadically employed undergraduate student who can't afford things like surprise [...]


"The only reason I'm on here is to plug my hamburger blog": Dudes on OkCupid

"I like to create worlds."

Emily McWinter and Janet Manley sometimes go online.

And 'Dudes on OkCupid' is also on Twitter.


Friends' Relationships, Sex, and the Ones Who Get Halfway Away

1. Is there a loving, appropriate way to handle a friend who you feel moves too fast in relationships? Like maybe a friend who moved across the country to continue a relationship that you suspected should have ended a year before it did, who then finally gave up trying to win that person back and moved back home six months after the relationship ended, but who is now asking you to analyze conversations they are having on OkCupid? And also every time you GChat, this friend tells you when the person they are talking to last logged in to OkCupid? Or is that normal now? I am a married [...]


Sex Phases, Red Flags, and "I Just Don't Think You'd Be a Good Parent"

1. I've been conditioned by quizzes in magazines and movies to believe that it's a red flag when a man has trouble with the idea of marriage. My boyfriend of a year and a half and I talk about marriage frequently. Neither of us are in a hurry to get married. Recently, he blurted out, "I don't really like the idea of marriage."

He then went on to say that he loves me, and is committed to me. That he wants to have kids and buy a house with me. That, because he knows marriage is important to me, he'll be willing to marry me in a few years. He [...]