Alpacas: Eating stacks of Fig Newtons that equal them in height.
Boa constrictor: That ginormous snake that can open doors can tip off a gigantic falling domino course.
Capybaras: This requires two capybaras—a big one to be dressed as a nurse, and a little one to be dressed as a Victorian baby being pushed by the other in an enormous perambulator.
Dolphins: Redo that Qream qommercial, but replace every human in it with a dolphin.
Elephants: Splashing around in an immense pond that has been filled with Nutella. Can you imagine the delight?
Flapjack octopus: Put a bunch into a tub, along with a very fat human baby [...]
They put a bird in Tevas. But the gleam in his eye suggests he'd trade for the stilettos.
Commenter Hot Mayonnaise has a puppy and a child. Both are below, but only one has a name. Can you help him with the one on the left? It's a nine-week-old female miniature schnauzer, and I believe whoever comes up with the winning name gets to keep them both, Rumplestiltskin-style.
Update: "The dog has been named Abby, which I don’t believe was in the comment thread. The second-place name was Olive. So, whichever commenter suggested Olive gets to put my daughter through college. Give them my congrats!" Congrats, sorry your heinous!
I didn't see cute coming. If you're old enough to vaguely remember the world pre-internet, would you have predicted how much of it would be used to trigger, awww?
In 2003, This American Life aired a story about one man's dream: to start a 24-hour cable channel devoted to puppy videos. How eccentric! Maybe, just maybe he might have something there. Within a few years, half of the greatest communication tool in human history had pretty much become The Puppy Channel.
Cute is like umami. A delicious, underlying force that compels our choices. We ate for years and years without giving much thought to what it was exactly [...]