Posts Tagged: children
4

44 Questions Five-Year-Olds Asked Me On a Rainy Day at a Florida Summer Camp

“Did you know One Direction is my brothers?”

“But how are we going to have fun?”

“Can I eat chocolate for breakfast?”

“What’s four plus four? Fish.”

“Do you want a bomb?”

“Did you know I found this hair-band at the beach?”

“Do you know I’m hungry? I only ate four chocolate muffins with milk.”

“I didn’t brush my teeth this morning. Do you want to smell my breath?”

“Are Batman and Superman on the same team?”

“Am I in trouble?”

“Can you please put ‘Turn It Down For What’ on the radio?”

“Did you know a cowboy sings this song?”

“My bone is sticking out of my skin so [...]

1

Kids Still Have Toys and Stuff

Via Slate's always excellent photo blog, Behold, go check out "Children Around the World With Their Most Prized Possessions," a series by photographer Gabriele Galimberti. Great news: It's not all iPads. Yet. [Behold]

5

Let's All Hire 4-Year-Olds

A little late on these: illustrator Mica Angela Hendricks collaborated with her 4-year-old daughter on a series of portraits, and the result makes perfect nonsense. "I had drawn a woman’s face," Hendricks explained, "and she had turned her into a dinosaur-woman." Yep! The collection is up on her blog, and she's made prints available for purchase here.

Our advice columnist, for the record, is only moderately impressed. [Laughing Squid]

122

"What" a Note to Follow "So": Why I Am the Baroness

I’m afraid of babies. I fear babies for a lot of reasons—I'm an only child with a meager extended family; I never babysat in my neighborhood; I was raised by a single mother who was more likely to take me to a dinner party full of adults than an afternoon playdate. This wouldn't be an issue if people weren't always trying to hand me their infants. There's simply an expectation that, if a female of a certain age has her hands free, she wants someone to fill them up with newborn, when really, in my case, a vodka tonic and a plate of sandwiches would be much preferred.

I could [...]

21

Preexisting Conditions

My husband is at the DMV taking both the written and the behind the wheel portions of his driver's test. I am not married to a 16-year-old; rather, this is happening because my husband's been driving our family minivan without a license for the last four years.

We had planned to go hiking and grill out with our two young daughters today. We both work full-time and the two of us rarely have a free day that aligns. But he told me over breakfast that he had to go handle this—previously, we'd both found out at a court date for a previous traffic violation that his driving privileges had actually [...]

1

The Wolf of Wall Stweet

Thank you, Cinefix, for getting children to reenact scenes from this year's best picture nominees (American Hustle, Captain Phillips, Dallas Buyers Club, Gravity, Her, Nebraska, Philomena, 12 Years a Slave, and The Wolf of Wall Street). Feeling very much for any kid still figuring out her Rs (it gets better) and also rather impressed at how much full-body effort it takes a child to open a car door (see: Nebraska). [via]

45

Carrie Got a Bad Rap: Beloved Literary Kids with Deadbeat or Absent Dads

My parents divorced when I was just over a year old, right around the time that I was recovering from a serious bout of meningitis that had irrevocably strained their marriage. There’s either a lot to say about my dad’s non-presence in my life and how it simultaneously fucked me up and made me freakishly resilient, or almost nothing. He wasn’t there. My mom was.

In honor of Father’s Day, here are my favorite literary kids with deadbeat and/or absent dads. All of these books are very, very good, and they all feature kids who grew up with their dad either missing entirely, or entirely missing the mark. If you, [...]

6

Mad Men: In the Land of the Lost

One of the recurring themes in Mad Men involves lost children, children who have lost their parents, parents who have lost their kids. We see characters who were abandoned, orphaned, or simply didn’t get enough love (Don Draper included) who go on to pathologically treat their own offspring the own way, often without much awareness or self-reflection about doing so. Don was a lost kid who became a lost adult, though he's kept it covered it up with bravado and a good sell over the years, albeit with a few cracks emerging.

This “lost” storyline goes well beyond Don, though. Pete lost his mother, in part because of Bob Benson. [...]

8

When Drunk Dialing Is OK

There was no real reason to encourage you to drunk dial Congress this week (we are at day 9, $124 million in unpaid Woman, Infants, and Children food vouchers), and then this photo turned up. The drink recipes don't look so bad, either. [Related: This study says Sprite is the only hangover cure. Am skeptical. *clutches yellow Gatorade to chest*]

14

"When Kid Art Goes Wrong"

From Screwy Decimal:

Tween: "I'm going to draw you Tim Burton-style."

Me: "Oh boy."

Tween: "If I draw you weird, it's not personal."

Me: "No, of course not."

Tween: "I'm going to give you weird hair, like you're in an asylum. That's what I see when I look at you."

Me: "….."

I won't spoil the reveal. Click here.

(Related.)