Hello, recent graduate. As you begin to progress in your career, you will likely begin to be invited to various “networking” and “schmoozing” events. Some will occur after film screenings, book launches, or discussion panels. Others will be designated “networking cocktail hours” for “young professionals.” Whatever the context, such events are very important for your launch into the wider world, and your own upward trajectory! So how do you maximize your time at these shindigs? How do you “work the room”? I’m happy to say that after 10 years of attending such events in person, I can offer you some hard-earned advice that will help you really get every crumb [...]
There are (probably?) two types of people in the world: those who love pimento cheese and those who don't. I've never even heard of the stuff, but I am appalled by my lack of ambition for not having come up with it on my own by this point. Apparently controversial pimento cheese additives: garlic, red pepper flakes, port wine, sugar, olives, and smoked gouda. So hungry!
From last week, but maybe you missed it, Hairpin pal Kassia Miller was over at McSweeney's documenting The Queso Dip Consumption Ritual Between Female Roommates, which, I don't know, you could find relatable, possibly:
A day, a week, a month will go by before either roommate dares discuss the jar of queso dip. Several jars of salsa, bags of chips, the odd tub of icing, all of these foodstuffs will come and go. But Queen Queso shall remain, biding her time as the roommates bide theirs.
The first step toward consumption will begin with a casual aside: “Oh, I noticed we had some queso?” one roommate will remark. [...]
1. The Cheese Ball
Happy National Cheeseball Day! Did you know there was a day during the year when we took time to pay homage to this spherical mass of cream cheese covered in nuts typically served around the holidays in the United States? Of COURSE YOU DID. Because you're an intelligent and savvy cheese consumer with an eye for style who knows all holidays with great panache! BONUS CHEESE BALL FACT: In Italy, they are called Bocconconi, which is both difficult and delightful to say out loud quietly to oneself.
Get This Look:
This is an audio/visual onslaught, but "he's going to be delicious, especially when everyone's drunk and stoned."
Formerly acceptable party spread: