Not sure what to make of this one.
"I told my little puppy, 'We got to wait for the paper boy, because Mama can't get out of the chair.'" —A woman got stuck in her chair and lived to tell the tale. (Wait for the parts about the ants and the clog.) Also, SIGTGMOOTCOIGTCYFT.
1. The chair lists the names and fears of all her previous assistants. 2. The chair lists the names and sexual desires of her future love affairs. 3. The chair is covered with every single closing voiceover by Emily Thorne. 4. The embroidered text of the failed first draft of Victoria Grayson's memoir, 50 Shades of Victoria Grayson. 5. The embroidered text of the failed first draft of Victoria Grayson's screenplay, The Portrait of Victoria Grayson.
According to Weyer, there were other ointments, but the essential ingredients remained the same in all. The preparations, when applied to the upper thighs or genitals, were said to induce the sensation of rising into the air of flying.
Witches were thought to anoint a chair or broomstick with the devil’s ointment, and after self‐application, would fly through the air to meet for devil worship at the sabbat.
You can't get pregnant just by sitting on a chair. Yuh-huh, you totally can! At least in England, where seven receptionists at a hotel who each sat regularly in a particular chair have fallen pregnant (as the Brits say) in the span of just 18 months — and they're all having boys. Yikes. They've dubbed it the "fertility chair," and now people are refusing to sit in it.
"Oh, step into my office. Please have a seat."
"I can't. Really. I'm fine standing here against the wall."
"Please, sit down. The chair's not going to bite."
"Listen, I would, but I'm single, and I don't really have a [...]
Iggy Azalea is a 21-year-old blonde rapper from Australia. She has a mixtape (Ignorant Art — available as a free download), a Twitter account (21K followers), and a YouTube channel. Her new video "My World" starts off with some NSFW yelling, but it eventually mellows out to be more ponytail- and fashion-driven. Also: Portia de Rossi or January Jones?
Elsewhere: Whining about Kreayshawn.
"Flabbergasted about the VMA nominations!! Thank you thank you MTV! I’m thinking about releasing a range of chairs to celebrate!" —Adele, the greatest.
You think you know … but you have no idea about this chair. ("I'm not just some rigid diva," it says. "People see me and they're like, 'Oh, a chair,' and like, yes, I am a chair, no doubt, but I can also be a wooden purse, and that's something most people don't see right away.")