Posts Tagged: carrie hill wilner


I got a new phone after losing mine on New Year's last year, and these are the last lines of every conversation I have saved in it.


Got my phonenumbeeeeer back!

What time you leaving? Quick drink before?

Great, thanks, it may be easier to just order some new pants though.




Sounds Great

Up to anything?

Awwwww. Leaving in 5


Ok. See you soon.

400 dollars


ok we're home!


sounds good xoxox!



Got it

Aw ok


It was nice to meet you, thanks.

I was at that last week hope work schedule lets me go again


Def, have a [...]


What Old Book Do I Read If … ?

My family is weird. Half of them don't speak to the other half; there was apparently serious family money at one point but now there is none; a cousin might have gotten a secret divorce (or else murdered her spouse, who has disappeared); and there is some legitimate religious fanaticism to throw into the mix. On top of the crazy stuff, there are the petty jealousies and one-upmanship, partly stemming from the fact that some of the cousins are very physically attractive, while others aren't, and that some of the cousins are successful in their careers, while others aren't (and the Venn diagram of these categories is constantly changing). [...]


Myths and Legends: Director's Cut

Leda: So also can I do a test for Swan AIDS. Gynecologist: . . . Swan AIDS is not a thing. Leda: Oh, cool.

Helen's best friend: I mean, it's like, not even fun to hang out with you anymore because it's just about allllll these guys trying to talk to you, and I'm all, why am I even here. Helen: What do you want me to do about it? Seriously.


Fancy Lady Film Hour: The Leopard


My pokey little hairpins! I was feeling bad about working you too hard the last few rounds. Villette was S-A-D SAD and Dombey and Son is sort of sad and also pretty long. I was going to slow our roll a little bit with an E.M. Forster-off this week (Where Angels Fear to Tread > A Room With a View), because they're short and romantic and just good-sad not bad-sad.

But two puzzles confronted me.

Puzzle 1: I was trying to figure out how on earth A Room With a View even became a Big Deal, and thinking thinking thinking, oh right, Merchant Ivory, young [...]


What Old Book Do I Read If…

Hi you lever-hitting-cocaine-rats, it's been a while. I totally ran out of old books. Now I only read current non-fiction (mostly true, but I also read the Hunger Games trilogy. Und3rwh3lm3d, or "wh2lm2d" as the current joking goes). Plus I got a new job (true). Plus I busted up my arm rollerskating at a bachelorette party (true).

Which old book(s) should I read if I really just want to watch Downton Abbey, but can't because season three probably won't air in the US for ages and ages? I want lavish settings, flawed but fabulous heroines, complicated romance, the works. Thank you!

I want a book with a dad, a MILF, [...]


Which George Eliot Heroine Are You?

Everyone needs a good pseudonym handy; you never know when you’ll accidentally write a novel. Anne, Charlotte, and Emily Brontë wrote as Acton, Currer, and Ellis Bell, a sisterly in-joke. Pearl Gray wrote Westerns as Zane Grey, because, Pearl. Charles Dickens sometimes wrote under Boz because he was Dickens and he could. Jane Austen published Sense and Sensibility as “A Lady,” because she predicted this website. And Mary-Ann Evans wrote as George Eliot, because if people would take her more seriously with one dude’s name, how seriously would they take her with two?

So seriously. Too seriously.  Virginia Woolf called Middlemarch “one of the few English novels [...]


Mean Ladies to Read About

Ohhh. . . hi, Hairpin. I didn’t recognize you for a sec, you look kind of tired! Yes, we should tooootally catch up. . . uh, my phone’s out of. . . power? but you should. . . find me on Facebook? Okayyy, gotta go meet some people for a drink. I’d ask you to come, but I don’t think you’d like it there, it’s kind of fancy. You know. Wasn’t I being kind of bitchy? It was totally didactic and not at all real, I’d never treat anyone so uncharitably in real life. Because I’m perceptive and empathetic, I understand that I’m unusual in this way, and that [...]


What Old Book Do I Read If … ?

Happy Holidays, Hairpin. How's locking yourself in the hallway bathroom with a mug full of wine going? You'll come out when people RESPECT YOUR BOUNDARIES, that's when you'll come out. Better find a good old book to read in the meantime!

I wish I could just always only suggest old books to you forever, non-stop, for so long that during the time I am suggesting them, new books become old and we have MORE OLD BOOKS, which I would in turn suggest, and we would never die. However, I also want you to be able to meet your own old-book needs when I am not around because I’m out making [...]


German Words for Gchat-related Psychoemotional States

Speaking of Gchat

Verkendokumentaugenstich: The momentary pinch of inadequacy and remorse felt when you glance away from a chat and spot the work you are supposed to be doing, before returning to ask your friend "fix my liiife? fix it?"

Dunksturrfenvlecht: The desire (conscious or unconscious) to leave, and concomitant pleasure derived from leaving, your chat window "available" after you've gone to bed in order to elicit other people's drunk messages and wake up feeling like you have a lot of friends.

Dopplepastenschande. When you make a successful joke in one chat window and paste it in another only to realize you pasted the name of the first person you were talking to along with your [...]


A Room With a View vs. Where Angels Fear To Tread

Salve, Hairpins! We have so much to catch up on. First off, I just wanted to check in — remember back when we read Villette? Did you actually read it? Did you loooooooove it? Do you want to marrrrrrry it? You can’t, it just died. Maybe I should have warned you more that it would ruin your life, but no one would read it then. Here are my discussion questions:

1) Imagine any of your friends coming to you and explaining about this guy, “…and he obsessively cuts all the racy parts out of the books he gives me with a tiny razor, so romantic, right?” Please [...]