Posts Tagged: breaking dawn

Red Velvet Vampires and Oreo Werewolves*

Yeah, I went. Obviously. The Awl has it covered, so I thought we could close-read this original document, captured at a Utah diner, instead.

1. Right off the bat, one is forced to conclude that the diner has run out of cookie dough and brownie. Considering that Paul and Embry are not exactly climbing the popularity charts, this suggests that people just really like cookie dough and brownie. Having spent three of my teenage years at the DQ (they said they'd take me back), this seems correct. When we grew depressed about working at the DQ, the other teens and I would hide in the walk-in freezer and eat [...]


Our Bella, Ourselves

When I teach the eighteenth-century seduction novel Charlotte Temple to my undergraduate students, they complain that all Charlotte does is swoon and cry. She isn't "a strong heroine" they protest. They don't get why her sexual affair with and subsequent pregnancy by a French soldier has to be such a big deal, or why the narrative seems to demand — spoiler alert — her death. The author of this epistolary novel, Susanna Rowson, predicted their reluctance way back in 1791. Toward the end, Rowson breaks the fourth wall and imagines how she would respond to a reader's complaints:

'Bless my heart,' cries my young, volatile reader, 'I shall never [...]


Girl Is Shaken to Her Core by the New Breaking Dawn Trailer

Here's a very lovable Twilight superfan who is just a teeny tiny bit excited to be watching the trailer for Breaking Dawn. Step aboard this exciting emotional rollercoaster (which is also incredibly profane and intense, making it somewhat NSFW and NSFETCHES*)! If you want to lose your mind alongside her, here's what she's watching.

*Not Safe For Ears That Can't Handle Extreme Shrieking