Yeah, I went. Obviously. The Awl has it covered, so I thought we could close-read this original document, captured at a Utah diner, instead.
1. Right off the bat, one is forced to conclude that the diner has run out of cookie dough and brownie. Considering that Paul and Embry are not exactly climbing the popularity charts, this suggests that people just really like cookie dough and brownie. Having spent three of my teenage years at the DQ (they said they'd take me back), this seems correct. When we grew depressed about working at the DQ, the other teens and I would hide in the walk-in freezer and eat [...]