This is my body. I work very hard for it. I sleep every night, eat regularly, lift weights and my 43-pound child, walk a lot, jog when I can, and shower daily. This is my body. What's your excuse for not having my body?
Can you access clean water daily? You should, because you need to drink water to keep my body hydrated, and water to clean yourself every day, if you want to have my body. I also make tea in that clean water, with herbs that an accupuncturist (certified!) tells me will benefit my body and mind, so what's your excuse for not having an accupuncturist [...]
“I don’t always know when an infatuation has gone too far, but when I do, it’s with a sneeze.” I’d be interested to see an ad campaign involving The World’s Most Interesting Woman, especially if she had some sort of bizarre tic that helped her navigate her torrid love life. I’m not as interesting as she'd be, but I could relate: I think my mind-body circuits got so backed up with toxic, unrequited affections over the years that some higher, unconscious version of myself decided to strongarm my psyche into giving up the ghost.
It was the winter of 2009 when I started sneezing with conviction. I was getting [...]
Whoa, that seems like a lot of rules! Isn’t there some sort of magic unifying principle!? We at the Hairpin traffic primarily in magic unifying principles, so we’re happy to relay that yes, there is one, and it’s pH balance. Your vagina needs to be a little on the acidic side (3.8-4.5) to be happy. Hairpin fave Kate Clancy has a long-form explanation on why this should be, but the gist is that your vagina contains multitudes: bacteria, yeast, and other organisms. The vag is healthiest when the Lactobacilli bacteria are in power; they output hydrogen peroxide to keep the pH down and inhospitable to the other bacteria. [...]
"I would like you to hug Grandma, but I won't make you do it," I told her recently.
"I don't have to?" she asked, cuddling up to me at bedtime, confirming the facts to be sure.
No, she doesn't have to. And just to be clear, there is no passive-aggressive, conditional, manipulative nonsense behind my statement. I mean what I say. She doesn't have to hug or kiss anyone just because I say so, not even me.
Where was this lady when we were kids? Oh, right, probably also being a kid forced to hug creepy people. Nicole, your stance? Here's Brak's.