Solange Knowles: most perfect person on Earth? Please submit your 5,000-word essay arguing why Solange Knowles has, in fact, achieved a new level of perfection previously unknown by humanity, using her recently released wedding photos as proof.
“A girl told me today that I would be a lot prettier if I got my eyebrows threaded. So I told her she’d be a lot prettier if she got surgery to turn her fivehead into a forehead!!”
File that one under the “swing and a miss” column of my sick burn top hits listicle, but biting wit notwithstanding, my mother was unperturbed.
“Maybe you should start threading your eyebrows,” she conceded, staring fervently at the thicket perched above my nose like it was an unsolvable calculus problem.
I was not expecting that response. I was nine.
Remember the time our our great-grandmothers were suffragettes and our moms fought for the Equal Rights Amendment and we all read think pieces on Lean In last year? Well it was all worth it because Yanis Marshall choreographed and made a video of three men dancing to Beyonce while wearing super high stilettos.
All of us need to check in with ourselves about our Yonce-worship practices occasionally. Have you sung Bey’s praises lately? Have you updated your personal altar with a fresh candle or worked on your Everything Beyonce Pinterest page? Have you seen this brilliant gourd-based tribute to Her Greatness and thought, “If only I had an MFA and an extra set of thumbs?”
We’re here to help. As great minds in Williamsburg put their skills to work, we in Chicago have been busy brewing up the perfect how-to.
This is the Beyoncé song that Caroline Polachek wrote, which is probably why this track sounds less like a Beyoncé cover than a bedroom-experimental R&B track in its own right.
Over the past few years, an aesthetic we like to call "snackwave" has trickled up from Tumblr dashboards. Now a part of mainstream culture, snackwave is everywhere: it's printed on American Apparel clothes and seen in Katy Perry music videos. It's the antithesis to kale-ridden health food culture and the rise of Pinterest-worthy twee cupcake recipes. It’s the wording in your Instagram handle, a playful cheeseburger selfie, Jennifer Lawrence announcing on the red carpet that she’s hungry for a pizza. In snackwave world, everyone is Claudia Kishi, and your junk food drawer is also your blog.
What we’ve written here is merely a guide to [...]
I have yet to listen to this remix and not start tearing up when the Spottie horns come in.