“A girl told me today that I would be a lot prettier if I got my eyebrows threaded. So I told her she’d be a lot prettier if she got surgery to turn her fivehead into a forehead!!”
File that one under the “swing and a miss” column of my sick burn top hits listicle, but biting wit notwithstanding, my mother was unperturbed.
“Maybe you should start threading your eyebrows,” she conceded, staring fervently at the thicket perched above my nose like it was an unsolvable calculus problem.
I was not expecting that response. I was nine.
Remember the time our our great-grandmothers were suffragettes and our moms fought for the Equal Rights Amendment and we all read think pieces on Lean In last year? Well it was all worth it because Yanis Marshall choreographed and made a video of three men dancing to Beyonce while wearing super high stilettos.
"If I didn’t know how smart and talented Miley is, I might worry about her. But I’ve watched her grow up. So I don’t. She knows what she’s doing. She was very proud of the work she did as Hannah Montana, but people were gonna leave her there forever. And she was just smotherin’ and chokin’ in it. So she felt she had to do something completely drastic. And she did. She made her point, she made her mark, and more power to her. 'Wrecking Ball' is a great song. The whole album is great. So I’m hoping that now she can relax and show people how talented she really [...]