Posts Tagged: beauty and the beast

Guess the Disney Movie

1. Your mother finds you in a bag a stranger gave her. Because you were born deformed, all the children taunt you. One day your mother flies into a protective rage and is locked up in an asylum. Falling under the protection of a manic stage manager, you're miserable until you do some drugs and realize that your deformity could make you a star.

2. You are a genderqueer woman born during wartime. You serve in the army and narrowly escape execution when your identity is found out. Later, your would-be executioner proposes marriage during a dinner party at your parents' house. You accept.

3. You are a mute [...]


Tiny Women, Freakishly Large Men

Ohhh, so that's where all the fairy tale giants have gone! They're busy running around the castles of Hollywood, scooping up the world's most petite princesses and cupping them in the palms of their dangerously large (but also kind of sexy?) hands.


Belle's Inner Monologue

Here's what happens if you simultaneously press fast-forward and rewind while watching Beauty and the Beast.



Louisa May Alcott on Hash Comfits

Beats the hell out of pickled limes, I'm guessing. This is from one of her lesser known, pulpier works (she wrote some super trashy stories), Perilous Play (1869):

"How mysterious! What is it? Let me see, first!" And Belle removed the cover, looking like an inquisitive child. "Only bonbons; how stupid! That won't do, sir. We don't want to be fed with sugar-plums. We demand to be amused."

"Eat six of these despised bonbons, and you will be amused in a new, delicious, and wonderful manner," said the young doctor, laying half a dozen on a green leaf and offering them to her.

"Why, what are they?" she asked, [...]