Posts Tagged: bad poetry
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The Love Story of Michelle Rodriguez and Cara Delevingne

 All text taken from Daily Mail captions. 

Part 1: The Knicks Game

Cara studied her facial expression Stay alert.

Open-mouthed. Sporty: she wore a black leather jacket and expressed her allegiance to her team. Michelle seemed to be trying to tell Cara something Stay alert. Open-mouthed

Michelle seemed amazed by something else Michelle really struggled to even keep her head up Basketball fan. Michelle decided to recline during the game

Getting close or desperate for attention? Chill out. Are you ok? Stay alert.

Cara and Michelle seemed to be struggling to maintain eye contact with each other As Cara blew [...]

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A Short History of the Really Bad Valentine Missive

If we’re to believe the American people, “Tweet Me” is one of the most romantic utterances of our era. That was one of the many expressions chosen by Sweethearts manufacturer NECCO after their 2010 crowd-sourced competition for new romantic missives that were then featured on their ubiquitous Valentine’s candies. Other sweet nothings candy eaters chose included: “Text Me” and “You Rock.” They joined the even more swoon-worthy “Email Me” and “URA QT” already in circulation.

If conversation hearts are any indication of our capacity for romantic sentimentality, then we are a decidedly unsentimental bunch. But it’s not our fault: Valentine’s Day itself is probably to blame. Before the 1840s, Americans [...]