Posts Tagged: babies

Mommy Queerest

I was in a prenatal class the first time I realized I was a fraudulent mother. “Dads,” said our instructor, a lithe doula with a faint British accent and an aura of calm reassurance similar to Pigpen’s dust-cloud corona, “It’s up to you to be a support while the moms begin to actively labour.” I froze and tried to focus on the wood grain of the expensive white-oak floor.

We held fistfuls of rapidly melting ice (a pain-management exercise) and we visualized palm-fronded beaches (another pain-management exercise). Between those activities, we talked at length about the miracle of birth—or, more specifically, the logistics of how the tiny, alien [...]


A New Website For Babies

Launching today: The Nightlight, which is like a Wirecutter/Sweethome for babies and the people who have them. Here is, for example, 2,300 words on The World's Best Bottle Drying Rack, a thing I didn't even know existed! Babies are gonna love this blog. [The Nightlight]


World, Meet Dino Baby

From 'Pinner Miry, who writes, "this is why the iPhone 5s has slow motion video":

I am proud to say he belongs to me. My husband is a velociraptor.

The world needs to know about dino baby.

World, meet dino baby. World, give us more dino babies.


Best D.C. Metro Stations to Name a Baby After

DC Metro police are reporting that a baby boy was born this morning on the platform at L'Enfant Plaza, which is really not the station I would have chosen, personally. It might not be the worst Metro platform to give birth on—it's inside, at least, and it's on a lot of different lines so it's easy to get home?—but half the fun of giving birth on a Metro platform is being able to name your child after the station, a la Paddington or Fenchurch. "L'Enfant" is a terrible name, in addition to being way too on the nose. If you find yourself extremely pregnant and you too want to [...]


Celebrating One Year of Prince George, My Favorite Celebrity

Exactly one year ago, the Royal Baby bravely maneuvered his way out of the Royal Birth Canal—today is Prince George of Cambridge’s first birthday.

I know this, because I love this baby. I love him. I’m normally pro-baby—I’m certainly not anti-baby—but I look at George’s pouty Winston Churchill face and feel inappropriately, irrationally attached, like I secretly birthed him and then was made to forget it by the powers that be in a convoluted Doctor Who subplot. I have no interest in I Wanna Marry Harry, but I’d seriously consider attending the casting call for I Wanna Kidnap Prince George, Rename Him Rusty Obama McFreedom, and Flee the Country, But [...]


Beyoncé feat. Blue Ivy

We had seen "Drunk In Love" in emoji; we had seen "Drunk In Love" remixed into an ode to Dunkin' Donuts; we had seen "Drunk In Love" Katy B'd and smooth jazz'd; we had not yet seen "Drunk In Love" with young Blue Ivy Carter coming in at the end to make everyone's face melt off with a single, "watermelon." This, a clip from Bey's Grammy rehearsal (note the Jay Z stand-in), is the zenith; there shall be no more "Drunk In Loves." [Full video here]


Why Do You Want to Eat That Baby?

Researchers from the University of Montreal are getting to the bottom of the perverse I-just-wanna-eat-you-up reaction we hormonal wrecks sometimes feel in the presence of babies. From the CS Monitor:

Apparently it has something to do with the way babies smell. A paper published in the current issue of Frontiers in Psychology describes how researchers in Dresden, Germany, imaged the brains of two groups of 15 women while the women sampled the odors of other parents' newborns. One group was composed of women who had given birth within the past six weeks. The other group was made up of women who had never given birth. The scientists collected [...]


Alternative Anne Geddes Babies

Taco Baby Nestle your baby in a taco shell, then drizzle him or her with shredded cheese, sour cream, salsa, and a light chopped lettuce garnish. (Note: If you only have soft tortillas on hand, feel free to try out Burrito Baby. Supplement with rice, but don’t let your baby eat any. He really doesn’t need the extra carbs.)

Your Baby Peeking Out of a Mason Jar Pinterest is going to fucking implode.

Vodka Watermelon Baby We’ve all seen the standard photo of a baby sleeping peacefully in a watermelon1. Bo-ring! Plug a bottle of vodka in that watermelon—bonus points if you put a vodka nip in each of [...]


When Friends Have Babies

Megan laid the stinking baby on the changing table and cooed at him. The little metallic plinks of his onesie pulling apart were almost drowned out by his cry. We were in the almost-dark. I sat on the rocking chair, witnessing my best friend, dumbstruck by her transformation. She was a mom.

The weirdest part about it was this: I had seen her perform almost every one of these motions a thousand times over already. But those times, the baby had been a doll and we had both been children ourselves. Those times, we had been equals in our fascination and our distance from real motherhood.

No longer.

In some [...]


Making People

What's funner than birthrate information?? Yep. Anyway, things are generally the same as they were before, except teen pregnancy rates continue to go down. The full report can be found here (and here, in PDF form). For what it's worth: "the general fertility rate was 63.0 births per 1,000 women age 15-44 years." So, that is that.

Elsewhere in babydom, we learn a few very small pieces of information about Kate Middleton, William, and George.