Posts Tagged: ask a dude

Friendships with Men, Jokes about Men, and Spiderwebs for Catching Men

How would you describe your friendships with other men, and do you wish they were different? Hah! Ugh. This is a timely question, because I am currently making a concerted effort to develop more male friendships. Not an easy thing for me! I'm not really sure why that is? I mean, I have theories. Among them: men are mostly terrible. The only thing worse than a man is a group of men. I should know! I am a man, and I've been a man in a group of men, and I'm sure I've been a terrible man in a group of terrible men. It happens! Anyway, the point [...]


Loneliness, Mistakes, and the Inner Questionnaire

1. You know what's a mess? I mean, it's a good mess to have, I guess, but when you start dating someone, and it's okay, and then a few dates later you know it's not great, but it's also fine. What then? Especially if you have like three of these things going on at once. Because partially you wonder if maybe it'll get better or more interesting as it goes along, but you also know you're kidding yourself. Probably. But then it seems like a big hassle to break things off honestly ("no it's actually fine, I do basically like you? I don't know, just not that much, although maybe [...]


Loaner Shirts, Neon Books, and the Meanings of Sleazy

1. When you're sleeping over at a guy’s place (someone you don’t know well, for the first time, not someone you’re dating), and he offers me a t-shirt to sleep in, is it because he wants me to wear the t-shirt or is it just politeness? I don’t get it, because one would think it would be preferred for me to be naked.

It’s a bit of both. I first started offering gals a t-shirt because other gals had requested one, and they seemed to appreciate it. But it didn’t take me long to realize that women look smoking hot in nothing but underwear and a t-shirt. It’s sexy [...]


Semi-Secret Affairs, Smanging, and the 88 Percent

Long story short, I finally grew a spine and broke up with my fiancé because he only added stress to my life, never gave any time to our relationship, etc. I moved out of our apartment, got drunk one night, and ended up hooking up with my boss. This situation seems to be turning into a very fulfilling relationship, except for one thing: I can't tell anyone about it, and this makes me wonder how serious it is.

First, we don't want to make other people at work feel uncomfortable. They shouldn't have to deal with our relationship ups and downs, so we agreed not to tell them. Second, [...]


Is He a Crazy Douchebag Wizard?

Long time reader, first time writer. With a big mess of a problem. I can't talk about this with anyone I know, because I'm certain I'm going to look like a huge ass (and he will too, which I don't want). I think I already know what's going to happen here, but I guess I need confirmation or something. Or maybe it's not that bad and I should roll with it (probably not)? Let's see…

There's this guy (obviously), and we've hooked up a couple of times. I couldn't figure out why, but when I was SO attracted to him and fantasized about sleeping with him almost instantly when I [...]


Drunk Pics, Hot Sisters, and Long-Distance Dumping

1. Here's my situation. I'm a successful, attractive 30-year-old woman who has recently (like just signed papers recently) gotten out of a painful albeit short marriage (together three years, married for one and a half). My marriage was neglectful for some time, and it took therapy and a lot of work to realize the problem wasn't me, and I feel like I have been handling things pretty well.

I had been lonely and emotionally unfulfilled in my marriage for a while. I rushed the engagement probably to hold on to someone who wasn't that into me. I feel like I have been grieving for a long time. I left [...]


Never-Complainers, Workaholics, and the Balding-and-Manly

1. I have a problem that might not be a problem.

My fiancé (dating three years, engaged eight months, living together two years) never complains about me to me. Not ever. He's never once asked me to change my behavior in any way. Okay, once he asked me not to leave a wet towel on the bathroom floor. Like a year ago. And he was right — that was gross of me. We have had serious discussions about just about everything, and some of them have turned into proper fights (which we always resolve quickly and good-naturedly with much concern for the other person's feelings, etc. etc.). But I [...]


Depression, Mothers-in-Law, Friendzones

1. At what point does your wife trump your mother?

My mother-in-law suffers from a host of mental illnesses that she has had for as long as anyone can remember. These problems result in her being defiant, promiscuous, self-endangering, and basically incapable of telling the truth.

I agreed to let her stay with us temporarily until we could find a better situation. My husband made me a few promises that made me think this could be okay.

1) If it got to be too bad, we would kick her out and she would go back to being crazy and destructive outside of our home.

2) I get to decide what [...]


Hair and Morality

1. This is ridiculous but I can't stop thinking about it, and I apologize in advance if I sound like a jerk. Or, I guess tell me if I'm a jerk. There's this guy I know who is sort of on that threshold of friend/romantic whatever, but I can't stand his hairstyle. He's very middle-of-the-road otherwise, style-wise, but this hairstyle. It's not even that crazy, I just really hate it, and he's always adjusting it. He likes it. He's a good looking dude, too. If a guy asked me to change my hairstyle, I'd be like "screw you!" but then I'd freak out privately and probably change my hairstyle. [...]


New Friends, Surprise Babies, and the "Rare Phenomenon"

1. I’ve been good friends with this dude for five years. I don’t want to be overly maternal or meddling, except: about five weeks ago, he was feeling mopey and went to a strip club after he got off work. He "struck up" a conversation with a young lady who was working there, and they discovered that they have a "lot in common!" Here is the sum of information he’s given me about her:

1) she became a stripper to avoid the government lien against her wages; 2) she has a government lien against her wages because she 3) dropped out of school and owes several thousand in student loans; [...]