Worse than the human-faced dog. Substantially worse.
Right when you think you've been starting to pull things together.
Because most of the chocolate-tasting jobs are already taken.
…Banana Joe, this nine-year-old Affenpinscher from the Netherlands. In the video above, he's winning Best in Breed (Toy); yesterday he won it all. According to the American Kennel Club, the Affenpinscher is known as "a peppy dog that has the face and impish nature of a monkey," and was originally used for killing rats and mice. (Which would actually make for a spectacular live-competition category.) The AKC also ranks breeds by popularity, if you're interested.
And then, because first thing in the morning is definitely the right time for it, Petfinder.
As part of our ongoing series of conversations with animals on policy and population control issues, we recently sat down with Anne, a Gunnison sage grouse living in Utah.
Us: Hi, Anne.
Anne: O THE ROSY-FINGERED DAWN! O HERALD OF THE MORNING!
Us: Is this a bad time? Who's he?
Anne's Special Friend: MY DARLING! LET US GREET THIS NEW DAY TOGETHER!
Us: Oh. Ohhhh. Um, we can come back?
Anne: POP THOSE AIR SACS AT ME.
Anne's Special Friend: You want me to fan my tail, too?
Anne: You know it, baby.
Us: I mean, we only have an hour or so in Moab to get this interview [...]
As part of our ongoing series of conversations with animals on policy and population control issues, we recently sat down with Whale, a humpback whale currently based off the coast of Alaska.
Us: Hi, Whale.
Whale: Long time no talk, huh? It's been…twenty years?
Us: I know! I'm sorry. I grew up.
Whale: It's okay. This is what happens. Being a whale, particularly being, you know, more of a metaphor for childish wonder and exploration, I'm used to it. 30 Rock! That movie with Jeff Daniels. It's like being the Velveteen Rabbit, or something. What brought you back?
Us: The baby had a stomach bug, so I found a bunch [...]