Posts Tagged: alcoholism

"You're not coping, my dear Mrs. Bowles"

After having an alcohol-induced stroke in middle age, Jane Bowles was sent to see a British neurologist, who patronisingly told her: "You're not coping, my dear Mrs Bowles. Go back to your pots and pans and try to cope."

This intense disregard for women, this inability to comprehend their talents or inner lives, was typical. Similar scenarios can be found in the lives of almost any 20th-century woman writer of note. Take Jean Stafford, who these days is more likely to be remembered for her marriage to Robert Lowell than for her Pulitzer prize-winning stories or her extraordinary, savage novel The Mountain Lion. This latter work was published in 1947, while [...]


"Status Update, I'm Sober": Caitlin

Caitlin, 25, grew up uneventfully in a wealthy New Jersey commuter town. After an ill-fated move west following a high school boyfriend, she attended Ithaca College. When she started working as a line cook, she started getting constantly high or drunk at the bar across the street. She knew she was an alcoholic, and had been for some time. She hadn’t made any real friends in college because she’d been holed up drinking in her room. She also knew she had to make a change before her daily cycle–work the afternoon shift, get wasted, pass out, sleep until noon–turned from a lost year into her life.

When [...]


Drinking, Pets, and Babies

My husband of one year (whom I've known for 10) is a caring, selfless person, and I feel lucky to have him. There's no question I want to spend my life with him. But there is a recurring issue in our relationship. He needs to go out and party sometimes to blow off steam. It's not that he's hanging out with girls or anything, I fully trust him on that, but it used to be a problem when he'd stay out till five and keep me worrying, driving drunk and doing irresponsible shit. My concern would always appall him — his family aren't worriers, and I admire that, but [...]


This Is Sober Sex

It was the night of my sister Kelly's 30th birthday party, and I was anxious. We’d encouraged guests to come in costume to fit the 1920s theme, and before anyone showed up, I helped my sister into the incredible flapper dress she’d found, beige with sheer paneling and sequins in all the right places. She set her black bob-cut wig and sparkling headband in place, swiped a bold rose color across her lips. I wanted Kelly to love the way she looked, because it was her party, but secretly all I could think about was if I’d look better: he was coming.

We'd been having sexless sleepovers for a [...]


"Status Update, I'm Sober": An Interview with Paul Johnson Calderon

Paul Johnson Calderon, a high school classmate, had fallen off my radar in the years since we’d graduated. The very little I knew about him was pieced together via Facebook—that he had at one point been a Vogue fashion assistant, that he was a bow-tie entrepreneur. I vaguely remembered he had been featured as a New York socialite in High Society, a CW reality show, but hadn’t had television at the time.

I was aware of Paul as many people were aware of him: as a bon vivant, someone gregarious, generous and charming. His Facebook page was full of playful selfies, with Paul in a bowtie, rings and [...]


Dating in AA

"I am still envious of the young newcomer girls who are pulled aside by other women and warned about the predatory old timers who wait in anticipation for the next wave of fresh meat. That was never me. I became best friends with another hot newcomer girl and together we went through the 13th step mill, at times sharing some of the same old timers. I think I hooked up with five different people within my first four months, and that’s not counting the occasional rendezvous with an old using buddy." The Fix has an interesting essay from comedian Amy Dresner on sex and sobriety.


"You can't save your face and your ass at the same time": A Status Update, I'm Sober Interview with Melanie

In this interview series, recovering addicts speak about the ways in which they have used social media as a tool in recovery. This month’s interview is with “Melanie,” a 28-year-old writer and teacher, who chose to use a pseudonym for our interview. Melanie was an early adopter of the #xa and #recovery hashtags in 2009, connecting with a sober network through an anonymous handle. Our conversation explored the challenges of sharing in early sobriety, non-alcoholics tweeting about Drynuary and being “out” as sober in academia.

How are you doing? Good! Thanks for doing the series. It’s just so nice to see people talking about sober issues in a public [...]


The Best Time I Quit Drinking

I was sitting in a cafe the other day drinking tea and watching a woman sip a glass of wine. I wasn’t fully boring-holes-into-her-head watching her, of course, but working on my computer and dividing my attention among a project, two e-mail inboxes, iTunes, cute dogs trotting past, and this woman holding a glass of white wine and talking to her friend. I must have glanced over a dozen times to see the glass still held aloft and half-full, as if she had forgotten it was in her hand. My god, had she forgotten? What was wrong with this woman? Could the conversation be that interesting?

It’s at moments [...]


On Breakfast Beer

"Look at cultures like Germany where a lager in the right circumstances is part of the culture, or Italy where the grappa is used as a morning pick-me-up. Cultures around the world consume alcohol in the right way, and that includes breakfast." A cherry-flavored wheat lager from New Zealand's Moa brewery is being marketed as a "breakfast beer" and thus causing a stir akin to Taco Bell's "fourthmeal." Some pros and cons:

Con: "It's a completely irresponsible stunt from a health and addiction perspective, because it is normalizing pathological behavior." —The director of New Zealand's National Addiction Centre.

Pro: "Some breakfast beers are taste enhancers … it [...]