Posts Tagged: advice
2

Ask Baba Yaga: How Can I Create Stability?

Transcript after the jump.

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Ask Baba Yaga: How Do I Abandon Striving For Glory?

Transcript after the jump.

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Big Lesbian Feelings, Fearful Mothers, and Proper Pronouns

I went through a big deal breakup a month ago and am now attempting casual dating/hooking up. How/when should I tell people I'm not looking for an actual relationship? Any other casual dating advice you might have would be very welcome.

If you’re only interested in casual dating, you simply cannot disclose too early. Like, bring it up before you order drinks on your first date. Include it in your online dating profile. Screen-print it on a hoodie that you wear anywhere you might meet romantic prospects.

Casual dating/hooking up is not a bad thing at all, but since it might be a dealbreaker for the people you want [...]

12

Ask Baba Yaga: How Can I Stop Thinking About This One Person I'll Never Actually Get With?

Transcript after the jump.

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How to Have a Boyfriend, "Advanced Dating," and Girls With Short Hair

My girlfriend of over a year recently came out to me as a trans man. I've never been in a relationship with a man before: not because I'm unattracted to men—I am sometimes!—but because I've always preferred the company of women, and I love the queer community. I love my partner and support him and I want to stay with him, but I never thought I'd have a boyfriend, and I need some advice on how to proceed.

My boyfriend has told me that he still sees himself as queer, and that we're still a queer couple, and he intends to be open with friends and family about [...]

41

Ask a (Terrifyingly) Clean Person: Oozing Gourds, Glue Mishaps and Food Coloring Woes

At Halloween, I bought a bunch of decorative gourds and tiny little pumpkins. These things are practically indestructible so I have had them strewn about my kitchen and dining room ever since. One of them started looking a tiny bit suspicious, so I checked them all.

One on my wooden dining room table that looked perfect from the top was totally stuck on with gross pumpkin mold and goo and stuff. So far I've thrown away the rest of the pumpkins and gently scraped off of the worst of the gunk, but there's still some gross stuff on there and a dark stain underneath. It is solid wood [...]

9

Can Femmes Prefer Femmes, Hating Your GF's Therapist, Am I Heterosexual, and LDRs

My surface question is this: How common, really, is the sort of stereotypical "femme/butch" dynamic in female same-sex relationships?

My real question is this: How can I, as a relatively femme cisgender woman, meet other relatively femme cisgender women? This is not the only sub-population that I'm interested in, but it's probably the most compelling one to me. I tend to be kind of wary of "lipstick lesbian" groups, because the ones that I'm familiar with can be pretty exclusive ("bi/queer folks, trans*/genderqueer folks, and ugly folks need not apply!"). But it often seems that in the larger LGBTQ world, I run into two obstacles: First, my femininity does not signal [...]

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Ask Baba Yaga: How Can I Avoid Drama?

Transcript after the jump.

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"Too Many" Straight Friends, Hiding Your Sex Tools, and Life in the Queer Lane

I had a breakup recently from a relationship that meant a lot to me. It was quick and intense, but I feel absolutely hurt and broken-hearted. During our breakup fight, she accused me of having too many straight friends (her exact words: "all your friends are straight!"). Even though I'm pained from the breakup as a whole, this one statement has really stuck with me.

I'm a gold-star lesbian (in my mid-twenties), and I do count some awesome queer ladies and dudes and gender-neutrals as my friends. But my ex is right: the majority of my friends I have met through work and college, which means that most [...]

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More Letters from Confused Straight Man

Dear Civilities: Recently, I was watching Larry King interview Anna Paquin, who has said repeatedly that she’s bisexual, and wondered what you thought of it. Now that she’s married to a man (“happily, monogamously,” she added), King asked if that means she’s a “non-practicing bisexual.” She answered, “I don’t think it’s a past-tense thing.” I’m a straight married guy and I think pretty broad-minded about this stuff, but I’m confused because I thought the definition of bisexual was someone who slept with partners of either sex. So what does that even mean, to be a monogamous, married bisexual? If she’s married to a man and never sleeps with [...]