Oh Companion Cube, weighted block dearest to my heart. Your steadfast devotion has seen me through years of stasis, countless taunts from murderous A.I.s, and so, so many portals.
When we first met, I didn't immediately realize just how special you were. I'm sorry for that, Companion Cube. You seemed like just another weighted block, bearing hearts instead of Aperture logos. As the voice of GLaDOS informed me, however, you were different. You stayed by my side throughout Test Chamber 17, cheerfully allowing me to use you as a platform. You selflessly blocked and redirected Aperture Science High Energy Pellets that would have killed me instantly on impact, and [...]
"[The gamers who were playing] Mario 20 years ago or Donkey Kong 30 years ago, they don't have the same amount of time anymore," he tells Gamasutra. "They have kids. They have jobs. They come home in the evening, they're tired, and they have to manage their lives in a totally different way than a 15 to 20-year-old kid.
"When you are in that situation, and when you sit down on the couch after dinner with your family, if you're given the choice between a movie and you know that's going to be over in two hours and that's it, or a game and you never know when the game [...]
Well excuuu-uuse me, princess, but you aren’t my choice for supreme Ocarina of Time crush. Nor is Link, Ganondorf with his power-hungry ginger villain steez, Ruto with her — uh — somewhat overbearing enthusiasm, or Impa with her (hopefully unused) bike shorts. Not those nutty nekkid Great Fairies, not Malon and her singing voice, not even Darunia and his sexy dance. Not even Nabooru, who I sort of wanted to be. Nope, Z. outdid herself and everyone else with her impenetrably incognito, absolutely in no way whatsoever recognizable disguise as her mysterious male alter ego, Sheik.
Video game character crushes. They are a thing. I prefer them to movie character crushes, because video game characters (most often) aren’t physically represented by pesky real people who might pop up in a tabloid and wreck the fantasy, AND you get to make them do whatever you want (to a certain extent).
Now that we've acknowledged this, I’m ready to get the ball rolling with the hottest collection of pixels to ever grace a screen: Leon S. Kennedy.
LEON SCOTT KENNEDY!!!*
*Never just LEEEOOONNN! Because then someone might mistake me for Ashley Graham, “the President’s daughter,” and I might die of shame. “LEEEOOONNN! HAAALP!” No! NO! What am I [...]