Uselessness
64

How to Make Snowman Deviled Eggs

1. Slice the top and bottom off one hard-boiled egg, horizontally, and the top and bottom off another, vertically, if that makes sense. 

42

Thank You So Much For Your Helpful Advice About My Nails

I read every word, and really took it in, and imagined you all with beautiful, clean, well-shaped nails and tidy cuticles and orange sticks, and then I sat down and engaged in some painstaking introspection about my willpower and past history of resolution-making, and carefully ripped all of my nails off with my teeth and then spat them in the trash.

And then I washed my hands very, very carefully.