sex secretes
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One Weird Trick to Control Your Boyfriend's Mind

This post was originally published September 13, 2013.

Want to hear a secret? It’s a good one. Some might call it epic.

You know how, as women, we are constantly being reminded to enhance our appearance and increase our sex appeal so men will be attracted to us? How millions of straight women spend billions of dollars on clothes and beauty products to peacock around for some guy burping at the bar? How long has it been since you’ve really thought about how much time we spend waxing, manicuring, preening, primping, sometimes resorting to surgery, and wearing undergarments that treat our buttcheeks like teeth with corn stuck in them?

If [...]

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Dick Hole Mind Control, 1918 Version

The Week has collected some century-old wedding night tips, and some, as you might expect, are batshit ("Absence [of shame] is a proof of dullness and coarseness," "The young matron should shape her life to the probable and desired contingency of conception and maternity. Otherwise she has no right or title to wifehood").

Others actually hold up quite well: "Every intelligent physician knows that conjugal life is the salvation of many women."

Most notable, however, is the early signaling of the power of Dick Hole Mind Control:

In sexual intimacies, there is a discharge of this creative fluid from the body of the man, but [...]

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One Weird Trick to Control Your Boyfriend's Mind (the Trick Is Pouring Juice in His Dickhole)

Want to hear a secret? It’s a good one. Some might call it epic.

You know how, as women, we are constantly being reminded to enhance our appearance and increase our sex appeal so men will be attracted to us? How millions of straight women spend billions of dollars on clothes and beauty products to peacock around for some guy burping at the bar? How long has it been since you’ve really thought about how much time we spend waxing, manicuring, preening, primping, sometimes resorting to surgery, and wearing undergarments that treat our buttcheeks like teeth with corn stuck in them?

If you’re doing this to entrance the menfolk, will [...]